Perspective Taking

There are many, many skills we all hope our children learn as they grow, develop, and mature.  Some of the these skills we don't even realize are important until we realize our child doesn't have it.  One of the many skills that is an important life skill is perspective taking.  Montessorians know that this is another skill that needs to be taught and modeled intentionally.  In the Montessori environment, there is an understanding of respect:  for each other, for the materials, for the space, for the rules.  With that understanding brings many, many opportunities for learning different perspectives.  As adults know, there are many perspectives to a situation/story/conflict.  Helping children understand other children's perspectives helps them mature in amazing ways.  This is evident as we watch the older students in our environment-they move into conflicts confidently and bring a breath of fresh air by way of sharing something they saw that maybe the children in the conflict did not, or even offering a grace filled reason/justification for why someone was acting in a certain way.  For example, today two boys were arguing over a space in the line at the monkey bars.  One boy said another boy cut, the other boy said no he didn't.  I moved in slowly and just started repeating what each boy was saying, offering some breaths into a situation that seemed to be getting a bit heated.  After going back a forth a few times saying the same thing to each boy about the other one cutting, an older student turned and said, " I saw what happened, do you want me to tell you what I saw".....how brilliant!  First, I don't have to use my big adultness to make a decision about the situation, therefore, inserting what I think happened.  Second, this older student is going to basically take over the conflict and provide beautiful and respectful perspective.  She said, "well, this boy was in line, but he actually was leaning over here so it looked like he wasn't in line, so I can see why child A thought he cut, but really he didn't"....that being said, the conflict was over-nothing more needed to be said.  Keep in mind one child was 3 and the other was 4-the older student is 7.   They were able to understand the older student's account and go on playing without incident.  Seeing another's perspective and opening our minds to others thoughts is a way we connect with one another and build relationship.  This doesn't mean we have to agree, but it's important to pause and think about how others are thinking/feeling.  It's simply amazing to see children develop these skills.  Along with the ability to take different perspectives, comes the development of communication skills.  The older child who moved into the situation today was able to articulate the conflict in a way that the two younger children could understand.  This happened in a very respectful way-allowing each child to be validated in what they saw and how they felt. 




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