Observing your Child

Stop and notice how often you engage with your child.  Engaging is obviously important, but observation is also important.  I think in our fast pace world, we (adults) can engage too much-intervene too quickly-and 'fix' situations for our children when there may be an important lesson for them if we allow them the time and space.  It's important to sit back and observe your child.  I challenged myself to do this with my niece today at the park.  We try and spend one day together a week~she is so much fun to be with!  I could honestly just eat her up and engage/interact/talk to her constantly.  But, I sense and hear her say sometimes that she doesn't want me in her space. She doesn't want me to intervene.  She doesn't want me to figure it out for her.  We went to the park and I challenged myself to only respond if she prompted me to.  It was amazing to watch her run and play at the park quietly.  She would sing or hum to herself at times and go from the monkey bars to the swing to the merry go round without a thought or care.  In our classroom at Community Montessori, the teachers realize how important observing is and we learn so much about the children by just watching them work and interact with the environment.  But, to take that philsophy out into the 'real' world is more of a challenge.  I so enjoyed watching my niece today~there is something about allowing a child to really get to know themselves without so much conversation and intervening and asking questions.  There was one point she fell slightly off the monkey bars (they are small ones-made for younger children so she didn't fall far).  I so wanted to go to her and say, 'are you ok?', 'oh, you're ok' and whatever else I am so tempted to say.  But, she got up said, 'Oh, gosh', brushed her hands off and ran off to the climber.  She didn't NEED me to say or do anthing, nor did she ask me to.  There is something about allowing a child to tend to their own needs as well.  Lately, I have been saying to children at camp and my niece, 'let me know if you need help'.  That gives them the power/freedom to ask for help as well as respects their need to try and work it out on their own.  They may be attemtping to do something we know they can't do, but the trying and practicing is fruitful, and many times they will surprise us and be successful!  Keep in mind the important process happening inside the little ones body and brain at these tender ages.