Conversation is so critically important to your child's language and social skills development. We begin talking to our children the day they are born and they are hearing us talk to them in utero. We speak to our children long before they utter their first response to our talking or before they utter their first words. The practice is in the listening and hearing. As children develop language, the back and forth among people is important for them to be experiencing each day. Everyone the child is in relationship with develops language with one another. We include the baby/toddler in conversations and invite them into our world via speaking to them. As children grow and develop, the language conversation becomes more complicated and we realize how much they understand and how much they are taking in from each conversation.
What I am witnessing over the years now that technology and phones have entered into all of our families, is that children are missing out on important conversations. Last night, we had dinner with some friends at a local restaurant. I was deeply disturbed by a family who sat near us. They sat down at their table (they had 2 boys probably ages 2 and 3) and immediately, they each gave their boys a phone. They proceeded to be on the phone throughout the entire time there. The boys had their plates above the phone so they could look straight down at the phone while they ate. I share this not out of judgment, but to call parents to consider what you are doing if you are choosing to give your children your phone to keep them quiet, appease them, or just to keep them from throwing a fit. Children are not only missing out on conversations, but also on experiences-being at a restaurant, shopping at the grocery, driving in a car and noticing what is out their window. Children need to be having real experiences of life and they are not engaged or aware if they are on a phone completely oblivious to what's happening around them. Important pathways are built through real, concrete experiences. This is not happening when kids are on phones/computers/ipads. Not only are we keeping the pathways from developing, we're actually creating situations where children have a harder time focusing and paying attention-particularly children who have a tendency to struggle with these things already.
I can only imagine how difficult it is to set limits with phones etc since they're everywhere and such a part of all adults lives. But, I am calling parents to at least consider your usage of phones, technology etc and be aware of how much time your child is spending on these items. Maybe set up a schedule that works for your family or do what one of my family's did-lose the charger! This way your child isn't in a power struggle with you-it's simply doesn't work b/c it's not charged.
Sunday, November 19, 2017
Saturday, August 19, 2017
Staying Safe and Learning Injuries
Somehow, in the last 10 years, safety has become such a buzz word and something adults pride themselves on paying attention to and something they feel is a non stop priority with children. But, I think it's important for all of us who are around children to be able to discern/distinguish between something that is truly unsafe vs. something that occurs (an accident or injury) through acquiring/developing a new skill. Furthermore, when an accident or injury happens through practice, it doesn't mean that we have to stay away from what 'hurt' us (or the child). We can always learn through things that don't go as expected, but I think we also have to be careful not to put undue limits on things just because an accident happened.
I went on a mission trip to Guatemala in April of 2016. I was moved on many levels with what I saw-extreme poverty, brokenness, and toxic stress for families and children who live in the slum area I spent time. Despite all of that, I was with a team of people who are loving on these folks, praying for them and providing an education for the sweet children. What amazed me most while we were walking the neighborhoods and praying for people is that the children were playing happily just like you would see in your own neighborhood. What the children were living around-garbage, homes made from whatever was available, broken items shocked me not because of my feelings that no child should have to live like that, but the fact they were able to keep themselves safe and were able to negotiate their surroundings. It inspired me to trust our kids more at school with more freedom of their space. What I am realizing is that we (adults/teachers/parents) view things as unsafe that actually aren't. So, rather than keeping our children from being hurt, we are bringing about anxiety and undue stress to situations. We are giving them eyes of fear and keeping them from discerning for themselves through awareness and an understanding of who they are what is safe and unsafe.
This past year, we literally took away all of our playground 'rules'. Instead, we observed and allowed the children to show us what was needed for a playground boundary. Guess what? Every rule we had (going one direction on the monkey bars, only climbing up the rope ramp, no running in the mulch area just to name a few) wasn't needed. The kids were able to work out differences and figure out what do in the moments there was a conflict or uncertainty. We typically said only 3 kids could be on the rock climbing wall, but the kids can determine if there is space for them based on who is on it at the moment. We also watched as younger children took risks based on their comfort level and their knowledge of their own limitations (NOT a rule that dictated for them)-it's AWESOME to see the kids learn about themselves, assess a situation and make decisions for themselves-as an individual. So many rules and so many fears go into the why and how we do things-particularly with children, which takes away opportunity for children to make decisions and take in information based on what they are doing for themselves. They HAVE to be able to do this when they are teenagers/adults so when they are young, they need time/space/trust to develop and practice. In a Montessori school, where teachers are trained to understand child development and to trust children as well as their innate intelligence and abilities, children are gifted time and space to develop these skills at their own pace and without the stress of an adult saying to them, 'be careful', 'don't go too far', 'don't go too high', 'stay over here where it's safe'.
I am learning to trust children more each day and what I am learning is that they have so much to show us and teach us. Adults need to step back and allow children to reveal themselves to us-in that waiting and watching, we are gifted the beauty of each child and what they are bringing to the world. I challenge all adults and parents to sit back and observe-take note and watch the unfolding. I promise you will be blessed and most likely brought to tears by the awe and wonder of children.
I went on a mission trip to Guatemala in April of 2016. I was moved on many levels with what I saw-extreme poverty, brokenness, and toxic stress for families and children who live in the slum area I spent time. Despite all of that, I was with a team of people who are loving on these folks, praying for them and providing an education for the sweet children. What amazed me most while we were walking the neighborhoods and praying for people is that the children were playing happily just like you would see in your own neighborhood. What the children were living around-garbage, homes made from whatever was available, broken items shocked me not because of my feelings that no child should have to live like that, but the fact they were able to keep themselves safe and were able to negotiate their surroundings. It inspired me to trust our kids more at school with more freedom of their space. What I am realizing is that we (adults/teachers/parents) view things as unsafe that actually aren't. So, rather than keeping our children from being hurt, we are bringing about anxiety and undue stress to situations. We are giving them eyes of fear and keeping them from discerning for themselves through awareness and an understanding of who they are what is safe and unsafe.
This past year, we literally took away all of our playground 'rules'. Instead, we observed and allowed the children to show us what was needed for a playground boundary. Guess what? Every rule we had (going one direction on the monkey bars, only climbing up the rope ramp, no running in the mulch area just to name a few) wasn't needed. The kids were able to work out differences and figure out what do in the moments there was a conflict or uncertainty. We typically said only 3 kids could be on the rock climbing wall, but the kids can determine if there is space for them based on who is on it at the moment. We also watched as younger children took risks based on their comfort level and their knowledge of their own limitations (NOT a rule that dictated for them)-it's AWESOME to see the kids learn about themselves, assess a situation and make decisions for themselves-as an individual. So many rules and so many fears go into the why and how we do things-particularly with children, which takes away opportunity for children to make decisions and take in information based on what they are doing for themselves. They HAVE to be able to do this when they are teenagers/adults so when they are young, they need time/space/trust to develop and practice. In a Montessori school, where teachers are trained to understand child development and to trust children as well as their innate intelligence and abilities, children are gifted time and space to develop these skills at their own pace and without the stress of an adult saying to them, 'be careful', 'don't go too far', 'don't go too high', 'stay over here where it's safe'.
I am learning to trust children more each day and what I am learning is that they have so much to show us and teach us. Adults need to step back and allow children to reveal themselves to us-in that waiting and watching, we are gifted the beauty of each child and what they are bringing to the world. I challenge all adults and parents to sit back and observe-take note and watch the unfolding. I promise you will be blessed and most likely brought to tears by the awe and wonder of children.
Wednesday, July 26, 2017
The Prepared Environment
Our school invites the new students starting in the fall to come to a week of enrichment which is 2 hours a day/M-F. We typically offer a week in July and a week in August. Since we have started this a few years ago we usually have all or close to all new students come during this time. This year, for some reason, the prepared environment really spoke to me and I was amazed-AGAIN-at how complete/thorough/deep/rich the Montessori philosophy is. There are many values and principles of the philosophy and all works in tandem with one another. This year I will be contemplating on the Prepared Environment aspect.
In ten brief hours that the new students spend in what will be their school community for the year, transformation begins. The classroom set up, the processes, the way the teachers engage (or don't engage) with the students is simply beautiful. The space calls to the children-it's not only set up in line with their brain development, but also all the other aspects-social, cognitive, emotional and academic. Something connects with the childrens' hearts-they realize they are empowered and respected in the space and they step up to the expectations that come with being given freedom and believed in.
There are some foundations that are a part of the prepared environment.
1. Freedom: Maria Montessori believed children should be able to explore their natural impulses which leads to their understanding of the world around them. This includes freedom of movement, freedom of exploration, freedom to interact socially, and freedom from interference from others.
2. Structure and Order: While Structure and Order seem counter-intuitive to the aforementioned freedom, nothing could be further from the truth. Structure and Order in the Montessori classroom accurately reflect the sense of structure and order in the universe. By using the Montessori classroom environment as a microcosm of the universe, the child begins to internalize the order surrounding him, thus making sense of the world in which he lives. (NAMC)
3. Beauty: The Montessori classroom should be beautiful, inviting and suggest a simple harmony.
4. Nature and Reality: Maria Montessori had a strong reverence for nature-she believed that nature provided deep inspiration for children. This is why, as much as possible, real objects/items are used in the classroom-real objects, real wood, real dishes etc. Child sized furniture and tools are used to that children can complete their work without frustration.
5. Social Environment: When there is a time/space provided for social interaction, children develop compassion and empathy for one another as well as skills to resolve conflict and problem solve. The freedom children experience in the classroom to interact sociall leads to organic opportunities to engage with other children and adults and essentially practice their communication skills.
6. Intellectual Environment: If the above aspects are not recognized, the intellectual environment will not reach its purpose. The purpose of the Montessori environment is to develop the whole personality of the child, not merely his intellect. By guiding the child through the five areas of the Montessori curriculum (Practical Life, Sensorial, Language, Mathematics, and Cultural subjects), the child has the structure which is at the forefront of the creative work in a Montessori classroom.
A lot of time and effort is involved in creating a prepared Montessori classroom that is designed to meet the individual needs of all children. Through developmentally appropriate, sensorial material that moves hierarchically from simple to complex and concrete to abstract, children are given the freedom to fully develop their unique potential through a carefully prepared learning environment. (NAMC)
In ten brief hours that the new students spend in what will be their school community for the year, transformation begins. The classroom set up, the processes, the way the teachers engage (or don't engage) with the students is simply beautiful. The space calls to the children-it's not only set up in line with their brain development, but also all the other aspects-social, cognitive, emotional and academic. Something connects with the childrens' hearts-they realize they are empowered and respected in the space and they step up to the expectations that come with being given freedom and believed in.
There are some foundations that are a part of the prepared environment.
1. Freedom: Maria Montessori believed children should be able to explore their natural impulses which leads to their understanding of the world around them. This includes freedom of movement, freedom of exploration, freedom to interact socially, and freedom from interference from others.
2. Structure and Order: While Structure and Order seem counter-intuitive to the aforementioned freedom, nothing could be further from the truth. Structure and Order in the Montessori classroom accurately reflect the sense of structure and order in the universe. By using the Montessori classroom environment as a microcosm of the universe, the child begins to internalize the order surrounding him, thus making sense of the world in which he lives. (NAMC)
3. Beauty: The Montessori classroom should be beautiful, inviting and suggest a simple harmony.
4. Nature and Reality: Maria Montessori had a strong reverence for nature-she believed that nature provided deep inspiration for children. This is why, as much as possible, real objects/items are used in the classroom-real objects, real wood, real dishes etc. Child sized furniture and tools are used to that children can complete their work without frustration.
5. Social Environment: When there is a time/space provided for social interaction, children develop compassion and empathy for one another as well as skills to resolve conflict and problem solve. The freedom children experience in the classroom to interact sociall leads to organic opportunities to engage with other children and adults and essentially practice their communication skills.
6. Intellectual Environment: If the above aspects are not recognized, the intellectual environment will not reach its purpose. The purpose of the Montessori environment is to develop the whole personality of the child, not merely his intellect. By guiding the child through the five areas of the Montessori curriculum (Practical Life, Sensorial, Language, Mathematics, and Cultural subjects), the child has the structure which is at the forefront of the creative work in a Montessori classroom.
A lot of time and effort is involved in creating a prepared Montessori classroom that is designed to meet the individual needs of all children. Through developmentally appropriate, sensorial material that moves hierarchically from simple to complex and concrete to abstract, children are given the freedom to fully develop their unique potential through a carefully prepared learning environment. (NAMC)
If you are new to Community Montessori, I invite you to read more about Montessori and start to gain a new appreciation of your child and what they will be experiencing when they are at school. It's simply magical and such a joy and blessing to watch children unfold and become more of who they are.
Thursday, March 16, 2017
School Choice
There is a lot of talk about school choice in the news right now. I wanted to share my thoughts. I have been for school choice for probably for over 20 years before it was a buzz phrase, before I owned my own school and before so many were arguing for and against it. I graduated from the University of Cincinnati with an Elementary Education degree. I taught in rural West Virginia when my husband and I first married. I entered my classroom with such hope and enthusiasm, but was quickly disheartened by all that was broken. I was naive and confused. I loved my students, carried them in my heart each night when I went home and constantly tried to think of ways I could meet each child where they were with the challenges of their circumstances and the limits of the school. I had amazing mentors-older, wise, loving women who taught in classrooms near me as well as a wonderful man who was my principal that supported and loved me as I learned. A couple of memories come to mind that really shook me. One was, on days I had lunch room duty, I watched as many of my students (over 70% on free breakfast/lunch) threw away entire trays of food each day. I didn't really understand. They then would purchase ice cream everyday as well. After watching this go on for awhile, I talked with my students asking them why. They shared and we talked about how important it is to feed our brain and bodies good food and that heading into the afternoon with only ice cream doesn't support their learning, alertness, focus, not to mention nutritional needs. The waste of food bothered me, but mostly, it really wasn't good that my students weren't getting a good meal. The other thing that happened was the school I worked did a big fundraiser to purchase new playground equipment (desperately needed). In my mind, they manipulated the students by really pumping up the new things they would get to play on and encouraged them to ask family/friends for donations. The kids were very excited, so I went along. Then, at a staff meeting, there was a discussion about not using the money for playground equipment, but instead buying new desks and chairs, which were also needed. I couldn't believe my ears. I looked around to see if anyone else was looking uncomfortable. I was a new teacher, young and taking in so much, I didn't say anything. But, they decided to go ahead with the desk/chair purchase. I felt like that was so wrong-to raise money for one thing, then take it and use it for another and the adults in the room seemed to have no problem with it. To me, it was a violation of trust for the children.
Those types of systematic problems went on quite a bit. It was like no one else was noticing that some things weren't working. No one was questioning-it was just the status quo so it was habitual more than helpful.
Today, I hear from many parents struggling to get the needs of their child(ren) met. I believe that parents should have choice-whether that comes in the form of a tax credit or voucher I don't know. Many families are trapped in schools that aren't meeting their child's needs b/c of cost-their own hard earned money is going to pay taxes for schools, but when their child has needs and concerns that can't be addressed b/c the school is so overwhelmed with trying to meet the needs of all students, it's not ok. I don't see it as a de-funding of the public schools nor is this a political statement of any kind. It's a pro child-pro family statement. I see it as asking all schools to step up, think of children first, and be up front about what they can and can't do for a child. We get to choose so many things in our lives and I believe school should be one of them. If 2 restaurants are open near your home, one has food you prefer and enjoy more-if you choose that restaurant over the other that has food you don't like, it's not considered de-funding that other restaurant.
I know the challenges of education are big and complicated. I am speaking from my heart and speaking for children. We have to get serious and make tough decisions. The powers at be have to stop acting like things are going well. The first step to change is realizing what is broken. There are many, many people out there doing beautifully creative things in education and it's working! The inner cities have some beautiful examples of loving schools, empowering students and literally changing lives. The adults in this arena have to stop being offended and start thinking outside the box as well as take into account child development and the science behind learning. It's very clear what is good for children and what is not-we need to stop doing what is not good and start providing environments and schools that support the child-period.
The education of even a small child, therefore, does not aim at preparing him for school, but for life. Maria Montessori
Free the child's potential, and you will transform him into the world. Maria Montessori
Those types of systematic problems went on quite a bit. It was like no one else was noticing that some things weren't working. No one was questioning-it was just the status quo so it was habitual more than helpful.
Today, I hear from many parents struggling to get the needs of their child(ren) met. I believe that parents should have choice-whether that comes in the form of a tax credit or voucher I don't know. Many families are trapped in schools that aren't meeting their child's needs b/c of cost-their own hard earned money is going to pay taxes for schools, but when their child has needs and concerns that can't be addressed b/c the school is so overwhelmed with trying to meet the needs of all students, it's not ok. I don't see it as a de-funding of the public schools nor is this a political statement of any kind. It's a pro child-pro family statement. I see it as asking all schools to step up, think of children first, and be up front about what they can and can't do for a child. We get to choose so many things in our lives and I believe school should be one of them. If 2 restaurants are open near your home, one has food you prefer and enjoy more-if you choose that restaurant over the other that has food you don't like, it's not considered de-funding that other restaurant.
I know the challenges of education are big and complicated. I am speaking from my heart and speaking for children. We have to get serious and make tough decisions. The powers at be have to stop acting like things are going well. The first step to change is realizing what is broken. There are many, many people out there doing beautifully creative things in education and it's working! The inner cities have some beautiful examples of loving schools, empowering students and literally changing lives. The adults in this arena have to stop being offended and start thinking outside the box as well as take into account child development and the science behind learning. It's very clear what is good for children and what is not-we need to stop doing what is not good and start providing environments and schools that support the child-period.
The education of even a small child, therefore, does not aim at preparing him for school, but for life. Maria Montessori
Free the child's potential, and you will transform him into the world. Maria Montessori
Saturday, January 21, 2017
The Grocery Store Experience
I get asked quite often by parents what they can do at home to better support their child(ren) and even how to support them using more of the Montessori philosophy. That's always an easy question to answer-follow your child and their interests, be patient with them as they learn new skills and give them a lot of time and space to be part of any and all life experiences.
I was reminded last weekend of a wonderful experience that can provide such enjoyment and learning opportunities for young children. I somehow was step in step with a pregnant mama and her little girl who looked to be about 2.5 years old. She was pushing her own little cart and was enjoying her outing greatly. We were in the produce section together and the mother was talking with her and letting her know some of the fruit they needed at home. What the little girl could reach, she helped with and she knew exactly what she wanted in her cart. Her mother was so patient and allowed her a lot of freedom with her cart, which the little girl did well with.
We were standing in the deli together and little girl talked to the worker behind the counter and asked her for her favorite cheese-the worker gave her a slice to eat right away! The little girl asked a lot of questions and was fully engaged in what was happening.
I ran into them a few other times in the store and I loved observing her doing the 'grocery shopping work'. It inspired me so much that I decided to write about it.
In this age of getting things done quickly, let's not forget how important concrete experiences are for young children. Children ages 0-3 are taking in so much of their world through their senses, so allowing them to be part of life is helpful to their development. Children ages 3-6 are refining their senses, developing their language and communication skills at a rapid rate and LOVE being part of what the rest of the world is doing. Simple tasks such as going to the grocery store can be such a fun experience for little ones-if you're not used to shopping with your child(ren) choose a time that isn't crowded so you can set you and your child up for success, allowing for some extra time for their processing. Of course, there will be times when you can allow them to be more engaged than others, but keeping in mind opportunities when they can be more involved is a great way to expand their experiences and their connection with you as well.
Happy Shopping!
I was reminded last weekend of a wonderful experience that can provide such enjoyment and learning opportunities for young children. I somehow was step in step with a pregnant mama and her little girl who looked to be about 2.5 years old. She was pushing her own little cart and was enjoying her outing greatly. We were in the produce section together and the mother was talking with her and letting her know some of the fruit they needed at home. What the little girl could reach, she helped with and she knew exactly what she wanted in her cart. Her mother was so patient and allowed her a lot of freedom with her cart, which the little girl did well with.
We were standing in the deli together and little girl talked to the worker behind the counter and asked her for her favorite cheese-the worker gave her a slice to eat right away! The little girl asked a lot of questions and was fully engaged in what was happening.
I ran into them a few other times in the store and I loved observing her doing the 'grocery shopping work'. It inspired me so much that I decided to write about it.
In this age of getting things done quickly, let's not forget how important concrete experiences are for young children. Children ages 0-3 are taking in so much of their world through their senses, so allowing them to be part of life is helpful to their development. Children ages 3-6 are refining their senses, developing their language and communication skills at a rapid rate and LOVE being part of what the rest of the world is doing. Simple tasks such as going to the grocery store can be such a fun experience for little ones-if you're not used to shopping with your child(ren) choose a time that isn't crowded so you can set you and your child up for success, allowing for some extra time for their processing. Of course, there will be times when you can allow them to be more engaged than others, but keeping in mind opportunities when they can be more involved is a great way to expand their experiences and their connection with you as well.
Happy Shopping!
Sunday, March 6, 2016
Welcome Back!
We had a little girl start at Community Montessori School in September as a 2.9 year old. She also spoke Thai as her first language. She entered the classroom a bit timid, but it didn't take her long to become comfortable with all the processes and routines that are an important part of her day. Although she didn't speak much, it was clear she understood a lot and she was learning so much English just by being immersed with all the other children.
This little girl left the beginning of December to visit Thailand with her mother. She didn't return until the beginning of February so she was out of the classroom for 2 full months. Her first day back the children were so glad to see her! She came into the classroom confidently, but took a lot in that day by observing. The second day she was back, she fell right back into her beautiful work cycle-choosing work, completing work, returning work and moving onto to her next work choice. It was clear she remembered so much for her classroom experience even being away from it for 2 months.
Watching her re-acclimate so seamlessly and joyfully, made me realize yet another reason why the Montessori classroom is so amazing. She was able to re join the environment without missing a beat, without having to learn so many new things that she 'missed', without having to meet new students/teachers. Her brain and spirit which had gone through many beautiful processes and routines that are supporting her developmental, cognitive, and social growth were in process and ready to welcome her back for her to join as she wishes. What a gift! We have also seen a huge growth in her English speaking skills-she's now engaging more with children and understanding and answering questions which also shows that even though she spent time in Thailand speaking her native language, what she had learned prior and currently unfolded very soon after she returned.
This little girl left the beginning of December to visit Thailand with her mother. She didn't return until the beginning of February so she was out of the classroom for 2 full months. Her first day back the children were so glad to see her! She came into the classroom confidently, but took a lot in that day by observing. The second day she was back, she fell right back into her beautiful work cycle-choosing work, completing work, returning work and moving onto to her next work choice. It was clear she remembered so much for her classroom experience even being away from it for 2 months.
Watching her re-acclimate so seamlessly and joyfully, made me realize yet another reason why the Montessori classroom is so amazing. She was able to re join the environment without missing a beat, without having to learn so many new things that she 'missed', without having to meet new students/teachers. Her brain and spirit which had gone through many beautiful processes and routines that are supporting her developmental, cognitive, and social growth were in process and ready to welcome her back for her to join as she wishes. What a gift! We have also seen a huge growth in her English speaking skills-she's now engaging more with children and understanding and answering questions which also shows that even though she spent time in Thailand speaking her native language, what she had learned prior and currently unfolded very soon after she returned.
Saturday, October 17, 2015
The children never stop amazing us everyday!
Sometimes, I think our issue as adults can be that our expectations for what our kids can really do isn't high enough. We allow fear, worry and comparison to others to get in the way of believing the beauty and capabilities of children. I know it's true for me.
This week we had an incident on the playground with 3 Lower Elementary (1st-3rd) students. It happened as we were dismissing and as I was talking with the children, I realized emotions were very high and there were questions that didn't have answers at the moment. I asked the children if they would be ok if we re-visited what happened in the morning-there simply wasn't enough time for me to give it the attention and energy it needed. I asked them to go home, think about what happened and then we'll chat in the morning. I honestly wasn't sure what would happen-this isn't something I have done before (wait until the next day), but the circumstances just presented in a way that this seemed most appropriate.
I then emailed all 3 families letting them know we were aware of what happened (I knew for certain the kids would report this to their parents and I also knew my wonderful families would speak into the situation in a very healthy way). I told them we would all be talking in the morning.
Without going into the nitty, gritty details I'll tell you that there was some physical lashing out that happened along with hurt feelings and misinterpretation of the situation. We had 1 1st grader, 1 2nd grader and 1 3rd grader who were involved.
I can't necessarily prepare myself for these types of conflict resolution opportunities-what is brought to the conflict varies depending on many things, so I simply prayed and welcomed all that could be resolved and more importantly, what could help support their friendships moving forward. What I don't think adults/the world understands or appreciates is that children are working through hard things each day just as adults. Their emotions are no different b/c they are younger. So, what they encounter on a daily basis with their friends or problems is a big deal. At CMS, we pay attention and as much as we can, allow for time and space needed for processing.
We sat together for about 10 minutes and honestly, I mostly listened. It was beautiful. The grace they showed one another was something to marvel at-their ability to forgive and go right back to loving was amazing. They all 3 shared their emotions in the midst of things and were able to explain what they thought and why they did what they did. I was humbled to be part of such a wonderful exchange among friends. They held each other accountable, addressed what needed to be addressed and wiped the slate clean. We adults have so much to learn from kids. Challenge yourself to step back, listen, observe and take in the greatness of your child today. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable in something you may typically take control of or have a judgment about. Don't be afraid of what your child may do or say-it's likely to soften our heart.
Sometimes, I think our issue as adults can be that our expectations for what our kids can really do isn't high enough. We allow fear, worry and comparison to others to get in the way of believing the beauty and capabilities of children. I know it's true for me.
This week we had an incident on the playground with 3 Lower Elementary (1st-3rd) students. It happened as we were dismissing and as I was talking with the children, I realized emotions were very high and there were questions that didn't have answers at the moment. I asked the children if they would be ok if we re-visited what happened in the morning-there simply wasn't enough time for me to give it the attention and energy it needed. I asked them to go home, think about what happened and then we'll chat in the morning. I honestly wasn't sure what would happen-this isn't something I have done before (wait until the next day), but the circumstances just presented in a way that this seemed most appropriate.
I then emailed all 3 families letting them know we were aware of what happened (I knew for certain the kids would report this to their parents and I also knew my wonderful families would speak into the situation in a very healthy way). I told them we would all be talking in the morning.
Without going into the nitty, gritty details I'll tell you that there was some physical lashing out that happened along with hurt feelings and misinterpretation of the situation. We had 1 1st grader, 1 2nd grader and 1 3rd grader who were involved.
I can't necessarily prepare myself for these types of conflict resolution opportunities-what is brought to the conflict varies depending on many things, so I simply prayed and welcomed all that could be resolved and more importantly, what could help support their friendships moving forward. What I don't think adults/the world understands or appreciates is that children are working through hard things each day just as adults. Their emotions are no different b/c they are younger. So, what they encounter on a daily basis with their friends or problems is a big deal. At CMS, we pay attention and as much as we can, allow for time and space needed for processing.
We sat together for about 10 minutes and honestly, I mostly listened. It was beautiful. The grace they showed one another was something to marvel at-their ability to forgive and go right back to loving was amazing. They all 3 shared their emotions in the midst of things and were able to explain what they thought and why they did what they did. I was humbled to be part of such a wonderful exchange among friends. They held each other accountable, addressed what needed to be addressed and wiped the slate clean. We adults have so much to learn from kids. Challenge yourself to step back, listen, observe and take in the greatness of your child today. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable in something you may typically take control of or have a judgment about. Don't be afraid of what your child may do or say-it's likely to soften our heart.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Independent Work-Protecting Concentration
The teachers have been discussing quite a bit lately how many children desire to work with a friend in the classroom, but are rarely successful. For weeks now, we feel like we have been putting out fires with no clear message or rationale for doing so. Two children will choose a work together and it turns into playing with the materials, sitting at the rug and chatting or even rough play. For many children, it's difficult for them to be successful with a work while doing it with a friend. Occasionally, there will be two children who will work well together, but more times than not (our experience lately anyway) has been it's not been successful. We've even noticed for some children that the thought of maybe working with a friend at any time consumes them to the point of not being able to choose a work, or hovering around the friend who isn't available, waiting for them to be finished so they can invite them to work.
So, today, in the pre-primary classroom, we decided to take a stand to protect children's work cycle and ability to focus and concentrate. We talked with the children and told them that the teachers have noticed lately that many children are having a hard time concentrating/focusing because of so many works with friends happening that aren't successful-we're seeing a lot of rough play with the materials and just silly behavior that is interrupting those working in the classroom. We told them that for the next several days, everyone will be practicing working independently. Today was the first day and it was lovely. Many children have been missing the opportunity to work alone and build their attention and focus because all they can think about is working with a friend. Now that the option has been taken off the table, it seemed, for many, to be helpful.
One of my Montessori mentors asks the question (knowing there isn't a right or wrong answer) "can 4 and 5 year olds work successfully with one another?" I have seen some that can certainly work well together and I believe they can develop the skills to be successful working with others, but before that can happen, children need to learn to work alone. Maria Montessori spoke about it like this: Think of an orchestra-people can't show up one day and play an instrument and expect it to sound beautiful. Each musician needs to practice, perfect and learn their instrument well before being ready to join the orchestra. It's the same thing with children-they need to learn how to work independently, concentrate and focus before they're ready to work well with a friend.
Working independently doesn't take away from social opportunities. In our classroom, social skills are developed and practiced all day long. Children are interacting and talking with one another often-as they walk through the classroom, they may stop and chat with a friend. They may need to give a child a message or reminder that can happen at any time. As they navigate themselves through the classroom, there are opportunities for interactions as well-asking a friend to move their rug or body, reminding a friend to put a work away, or greeting and singing on line. In our classroom, children are developing their social skills in a prepared/safe environment within the context of work where we provide intentional coaching and support as they learn language and grace and courtesy skills to interact with one another now and in the future.
Ask your child about the message they received today about independent work-it would be a good follow up and opportunity for a great conversation.
So, today, in the pre-primary classroom, we decided to take a stand to protect children's work cycle and ability to focus and concentrate. We talked with the children and told them that the teachers have noticed lately that many children are having a hard time concentrating/focusing because of so many works with friends happening that aren't successful-we're seeing a lot of rough play with the materials and just silly behavior that is interrupting those working in the classroom. We told them that for the next several days, everyone will be practicing working independently. Today was the first day and it was lovely. Many children have been missing the opportunity to work alone and build their attention and focus because all they can think about is working with a friend. Now that the option has been taken off the table, it seemed, for many, to be helpful.
One of my Montessori mentors asks the question (knowing there isn't a right or wrong answer) "can 4 and 5 year olds work successfully with one another?" I have seen some that can certainly work well together and I believe they can develop the skills to be successful working with others, but before that can happen, children need to learn to work alone. Maria Montessori spoke about it like this: Think of an orchestra-people can't show up one day and play an instrument and expect it to sound beautiful. Each musician needs to practice, perfect and learn their instrument well before being ready to join the orchestra. It's the same thing with children-they need to learn how to work independently, concentrate and focus before they're ready to work well with a friend.
Working independently doesn't take away from social opportunities. In our classroom, social skills are developed and practiced all day long. Children are interacting and talking with one another often-as they walk through the classroom, they may stop and chat with a friend. They may need to give a child a message or reminder that can happen at any time. As they navigate themselves through the classroom, there are opportunities for interactions as well-asking a friend to move their rug or body, reminding a friend to put a work away, or greeting and singing on line. In our classroom, children are developing their social skills in a prepared/safe environment within the context of work where we provide intentional coaching and support as they learn language and grace and courtesy skills to interact with one another now and in the future.
Ask your child about the message they received today about independent work-it would be a good follow up and opportunity for a great conversation.
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Keep Trying
Children's learning is a journey. In this quick paced world with many expectations it can seem like children go through life checking off tasks/skills-crawling-check, walking-check, talking-check, potty trained-check, reading-check etc.....but, in reality children are developing, learning, progressing constantly and often times the fruit of their development isn't obvious to the human eye. So much is happening in a child's brain-what they do today is preparing them for tomorrow. Maria Montessori said they are 'constructing themselves'. They need a lot of practice/repetition and opportunity to master skills and perfect new things they're learning.
Sometimes, as adults, we take away opportunity for growth. This world is full of pressure to be tidy, and to do things quickly and to have things perfected. So, we sometimes make the mistake of rushing children and putting inappropriate expectations on what they can do or not expecting them to do things they are capable of doing.
In the classroom, we have a lot of language we use to help coach and support children. One area we've been working intentionally on is paying attention when children give up easily or don't think they can do something. Those moments are precious and great opportunity to allow children to push through, give it a try and practice doing something new.
An area of developing independence for children in the pre-primary classroom is putting on snow clothes. When winter began, children would bring teachers their mittens/gloves and hand them to us vs trying to put them on. We usually say, 'why don't you give it a try?" or 'let me see you try first'......while they're struggling, they're figuring it out. Yes, it may take a little longer and they may say things like 'I can't' or 'this is too hard'.....but, the opportunity to practice-with the struggling-is golden. I can't tell you how many children have mastered putting on their mittens/gloves independently. On the other side of that as well, sometimes adults can get frustrated when children don't know how to some things independently; yet, they've not been given ample time to develop the ability to do it. It's great to observe and wait for a child to ask for help, then you can move in with some support along with more opportunity to help them succeed independently-not have an adult do it for them. If they ask for help, we usually say, 'what would you like me to do?"...again, allowing them to think and verbalize exactly what they are thinking and inviting you into helping. If a child is really struggling, maybe even crying or seeming overwhelmed, we'll say, 'let me know if you need help'....this serves as a bridge to allow them to ask or indicate they need help. Adults can sometimes move in too quickly and even take over a situation which sends a message of, you can't do this, so I will rescue things and do it for you.
These great opportunities happen all day long in many areas of the classroom and social arena-children thinking they can't do something, but when given some support and time, they can! It's ok if it's hard...it's ok if it takes some work-that time it takes while it's hard is a time of great growth.
The ultimate goal for teachers and parents is for us to provide environments (whether its home/school/out in the community) that support children as they develop life skills to be independent, resolve conflict, learn about themselves, engage socially in appropriate ways and enjoy life! When a child feels capable and believed in, the sky's the limit!!
Challenge yourself today to do more observing than moving in. We can learn a lot about children by just watching and listening. See where you can help provide an opportunity for a child to push through or keep trying something new...it's so fun to see a child's perseverance!
Sometimes, as adults, we take away opportunity for growth. This world is full of pressure to be tidy, and to do things quickly and to have things perfected. So, we sometimes make the mistake of rushing children and putting inappropriate expectations on what they can do or not expecting them to do things they are capable of doing.
In the classroom, we have a lot of language we use to help coach and support children. One area we've been working intentionally on is paying attention when children give up easily or don't think they can do something. Those moments are precious and great opportunity to allow children to push through, give it a try and practice doing something new.
An area of developing independence for children in the pre-primary classroom is putting on snow clothes. When winter began, children would bring teachers their mittens/gloves and hand them to us vs trying to put them on. We usually say, 'why don't you give it a try?" or 'let me see you try first'......while they're struggling, they're figuring it out. Yes, it may take a little longer and they may say things like 'I can't' or 'this is too hard'.....but, the opportunity to practice-with the struggling-is golden. I can't tell you how many children have mastered putting on their mittens/gloves independently. On the other side of that as well, sometimes adults can get frustrated when children don't know how to some things independently; yet, they've not been given ample time to develop the ability to do it. It's great to observe and wait for a child to ask for help, then you can move in with some support along with more opportunity to help them succeed independently-not have an adult do it for them. If they ask for help, we usually say, 'what would you like me to do?"...again, allowing them to think and verbalize exactly what they are thinking and inviting you into helping. If a child is really struggling, maybe even crying or seeming overwhelmed, we'll say, 'let me know if you need help'....this serves as a bridge to allow them to ask or indicate they need help. Adults can sometimes move in too quickly and even take over a situation which sends a message of, you can't do this, so I will rescue things and do it for you.
These great opportunities happen all day long in many areas of the classroom and social arena-children thinking they can't do something, but when given some support and time, they can! It's ok if it's hard...it's ok if it takes some work-that time it takes while it's hard is a time of great growth.
The ultimate goal for teachers and parents is for us to provide environments (whether its home/school/out in the community) that support children as they develop life skills to be independent, resolve conflict, learn about themselves, engage socially in appropriate ways and enjoy life! When a child feels capable and believed in, the sky's the limit!!
Challenge yourself today to do more observing than moving in. We can learn a lot about children by just watching and listening. See where you can help provide an opportunity for a child to push through or keep trying something new...it's so fun to see a child's perseverance!
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
What we're learning from Cami
We have a family who has been part of the CMS community for almost 4 years. They have a son who started when he was 3 years old. I loved this family from the start! They came with lots of questions and thoughts and knew the decision of where to send their son for preschool was a big deal.
We have gotten to know the family over the years, enjoyed watching their son develop and learn and have always felt the support from them for what we do on a daily basis.
Last year at a field trip, Erin shared with me that Cami, her daughter who was going to be joining CMS, was suffering from dizziness. I could tell when she shared it with me, she was very concerned. Unfortunately, after many tests and doctor visits it's been determined that Cami has a brain tumor. This news hits like a kick in the gut-your breath is taken away. A treatment plan was put into place.
In the meantime, we were in contact with the parents, discussing Cami's transition into school and really processing all we needed to think about for Cami to be at school. A nurse from Children's came and talked to the staff and mom and I talked about what their hopes were for Cami in the Montessori environment. There were things that Children's Hospital offered to help with the transition into school as well as many things we needed to consider while caring for Cami on a daily basis.
My hopes and prayers for Cami at school were that she could have her time at school be a place of respite and escape from all the things she had to go through while she battled her brain tumor. My hopes and prayers were that she made friends and got to build her independence and make choices. My hopes and prayers for Cami were very much the same for all the children who enter the classroom.
I am here to say that Cami is teaching us so much about courage, endurance, persistence, joy, and positive attitude. The Montessori environment is incredibly magical-it speaks to children, but it speaks to each child in a different way, based on each child's needs. While Cami battles cancer, she has to endure many things no child should every have to-she has frequent doctor's visits, blood work, time at the hospital, daily unpleasant medication and times when she just doesn't feel well. But, honestly, aside from losing some of her hair, you wouldn't know this little girl is sick! Her energy when she comes into the classroom is contagious-she's so excited to be there and always knows what she wants to do and how she wants to spend her time. She is large and charge in the classroom and cancer has no hold on her!
We love to observe Cami take her time thinking about her work choice, making her work choice, then engaging in a work with such concentration. She loves to do rock and gourd scrubbing, Easel, drawing and banana cutting. It's like in the classroom she is free from the worries of her medical world. We know that her time in the classroom is imprinting on her little heart and she is learning to know herself and trust that she is capable. She has an opportunity to practice important skills. She is talking and laughing with other children. The classroom is meeting her right where she is as it does with each child. The teachers in the classroom feel honored to be able to watch the unfolding of children-there is no stopping the potential of a child's work when the right environment is offered to them.
We thank you Cami for reminding us each day that we can take hold of joy and happiness offered to us! You have shown us the blessings of each day are never ending, even in the hard stuff. Cancer is a side note in your life-you have big things to teach us and the world-you go girl!!
We have gotten to know the family over the years, enjoyed watching their son develop and learn and have always felt the support from them for what we do on a daily basis.
Last year at a field trip, Erin shared with me that Cami, her daughter who was going to be joining CMS, was suffering from dizziness. I could tell when she shared it with me, she was very concerned. Unfortunately, after many tests and doctor visits it's been determined that Cami has a brain tumor. This news hits like a kick in the gut-your breath is taken away. A treatment plan was put into place.
In the meantime, we were in contact with the parents, discussing Cami's transition into school and really processing all we needed to think about for Cami to be at school. A nurse from Children's came and talked to the staff and mom and I talked about what their hopes were for Cami in the Montessori environment. There were things that Children's Hospital offered to help with the transition into school as well as many things we needed to consider while caring for Cami on a daily basis.
My hopes and prayers for Cami at school were that she could have her time at school be a place of respite and escape from all the things she had to go through while she battled her brain tumor. My hopes and prayers were that she made friends and got to build her independence and make choices. My hopes and prayers for Cami were very much the same for all the children who enter the classroom.
I am here to say that Cami is teaching us so much about courage, endurance, persistence, joy, and positive attitude. The Montessori environment is incredibly magical-it speaks to children, but it speaks to each child in a different way, based on each child's needs. While Cami battles cancer, she has to endure many things no child should every have to-she has frequent doctor's visits, blood work, time at the hospital, daily unpleasant medication and times when she just doesn't feel well. But, honestly, aside from losing some of her hair, you wouldn't know this little girl is sick! Her energy when she comes into the classroom is contagious-she's so excited to be there and always knows what she wants to do and how she wants to spend her time. She is large and charge in the classroom and cancer has no hold on her!
We love to observe Cami take her time thinking about her work choice, making her work choice, then engaging in a work with such concentration. She loves to do rock and gourd scrubbing, Easel, drawing and banana cutting. It's like in the classroom she is free from the worries of her medical world. We know that her time in the classroom is imprinting on her little heart and she is learning to know herself and trust that she is capable. She has an opportunity to practice important skills. She is talking and laughing with other children. The classroom is meeting her right where she is as it does with each child. The teachers in the classroom feel honored to be able to watch the unfolding of children-there is no stopping the potential of a child's work when the right environment is offered to them.
We thank you Cami for reminding us each day that we can take hold of joy and happiness offered to us! You have shown us the blessings of each day are never ending, even in the hard stuff. Cancer is a side note in your life-you have big things to teach us and the world-you go girl!!
Friday, September 19, 2014
Process, Process....Reaps Fruit
We've started our 5th year at Community Montessori School. I so wish I had the time to blog everyday-everyday something happens in the classroom that I would love to reflect and write about. Today something happened that really pushed me to take the time. If you are new to Montessori or you have been a Montessori parent for some time, you have undoubtedly heard that we're more concerned with a child's process. As adults, we are always thinking of the end game-the end product-the end task list. But, children are in the moment-taking their time and developing every step of the way. Sometimes, it's difficult as parents and teachers to wait, be patient and allow children the time and space needed to work through things and discover themselves. Today's happening in the classroom illustrates a beautiful process and discovery made by one little boy.
If I notice a child hasn't grabbed their tote bag to bring inside school, I usually say something like 'Would you like to bring your tote bag today?' This allows the child to respond and make a decision whether or not to bring it. It's very different than 'grab your tote bag' or even just grabbing it for them and handing it to them. Most of the time (99.9% of the time), children say 'yes' and grab it. Today, a little boy turned and looked at his tote bag in his car, then turned around and said he didn't want to bring it in b/c it would get lost. I then told him that I noticed he had some work on his clip that he could take home, if that information would change his mind-it didn't. Well, during work time this little boy colored 5 airplane pictures (we're studying transportation). He finished his work, put the work away and proceeded to carry around the pictures. I was enjoying watching him to see what he would do. He solicited a friend to help him try and put all his work on his small clip attached to his coat hook which is where we put work that needed to stay overnight to dry. What a clever boy! He saw work clipped there, so he thought he could put his work there he had just finished. His friend couldn't get his work on the clip. This friend happened to ride to school with him today so he knew he didn't want to bring his tote bag. The friend said to the little boy a couple of times, 'This is why you need to bring your tote bag'. The little boy then replied each time, 'But, it will get lost at the park'. The little boy proceeded working and thinking very hard about what to do. He was in the coat room organizing his papers and trying to get his work on the hook. He then walked around the room for awhile and even chose a work with his hands full. Then, he walked up to a teacher and said, 'My friend was right-I need to bring my tote bag!' and he said it with a chuckle and smile like he had just made a big discovery! It was so cute and funny. There were many times a teacher could have moved in, made a decision for this little guy or even just told him what he could do. But, allowing him to walk through his own thought process without being interrupted was a gift. This little boy is 3 years old and made such a wonderful discovery. The interesting part was too that his friend was telling him he needed to bring his tote bag, but he he kept saying, 'no, it will get lost at the park', but in the end, realizing he had nothing to do with his work, he realized, yes, I need to bring a tote bag. My guess is that this little boy will always bring his tote bag to school! But, more than bringing his tote bag, he sees purpose is having it at school.
Community Montessori School
www.CMontessori.com
If I notice a child hasn't grabbed their tote bag to bring inside school, I usually say something like 'Would you like to bring your tote bag today?' This allows the child to respond and make a decision whether or not to bring it. It's very different than 'grab your tote bag' or even just grabbing it for them and handing it to them. Most of the time (99.9% of the time), children say 'yes' and grab it. Today, a little boy turned and looked at his tote bag in his car, then turned around and said he didn't want to bring it in b/c it would get lost. I then told him that I noticed he had some work on his clip that he could take home, if that information would change his mind-it didn't. Well, during work time this little boy colored 5 airplane pictures (we're studying transportation). He finished his work, put the work away and proceeded to carry around the pictures. I was enjoying watching him to see what he would do. He solicited a friend to help him try and put all his work on his small clip attached to his coat hook which is where we put work that needed to stay overnight to dry. What a clever boy! He saw work clipped there, so he thought he could put his work there he had just finished. His friend couldn't get his work on the clip. This friend happened to ride to school with him today so he knew he didn't want to bring his tote bag. The friend said to the little boy a couple of times, 'This is why you need to bring your tote bag'. The little boy then replied each time, 'But, it will get lost at the park'. The little boy proceeded working and thinking very hard about what to do. He was in the coat room organizing his papers and trying to get his work on the hook. He then walked around the room for awhile and even chose a work with his hands full. Then, he walked up to a teacher and said, 'My friend was right-I need to bring my tote bag!' and he said it with a chuckle and smile like he had just made a big discovery! It was so cute and funny. There were many times a teacher could have moved in, made a decision for this little guy or even just told him what he could do. But, allowing him to walk through his own thought process without being interrupted was a gift. This little boy is 3 years old and made such a wonderful discovery. The interesting part was too that his friend was telling him he needed to bring his tote bag, but he he kept saying, 'no, it will get lost at the park', but in the end, realizing he had nothing to do with his work, he realized, yes, I need to bring a tote bag. My guess is that this little boy will always bring his tote bag to school! But, more than bringing his tote bag, he sees purpose is having it at school.
Community Montessori School
www.CMontessori.com
Saturday, May 24, 2014
The Grit of Life~Lessons Learned
I was driving the other day after just leaving the house hearing my boys (16 and 18) arguing about who put gas in the car last, who drives more than the other, and what they're going to do about it. It was a bit heated and as the mom, hard to listen to because their relationship is an important one and always will be in their lives. But, my thoughts turned to how important it is to allow our children to live through the gritty moments of life-the difficult times-the uncomfortable times-because they provide such opportunity for figuring things out, learning to show grace and build confidence because they are working hard to make a way for themselves. When my 2nd son started driving we knew the boys would be sharing a car and believe me, I was a bit nervous as to how that would work out. But, it's been better than I expected and they have had to figure out a lot through sharing a car. They're both busy-they have social lives, love to fish, play baseball, golf, jobs etc. They have to take turns-they have to make decisions-they have to give in-they have to be on a schedule if one needs the car at a certain time etc. This small situation in both of their lives is an ongoing opportunity to resolve conflict, build their relationship and mature through some of the tough stuff life has to offer.
What I'm finding a lot with some of our young families is that parents want to protect their children from being uncomfortable, sad, or going without something. This can very dangerous. We know from being in the classroom everyday that kids are adaptable, can make decisions, can think critically about situations, ask great questions, can process through challenging processes, love one another, show grace, and can solve conflict and are ok if they are disappointed or sad for a brief time. Bouncing back, living through difficult things, then realizing it's ok, is a huge life skill. As our kids grow up, we can not keep them from the ick side of life. We can not keep them from having their feelings hurt, not having a turn, not being invited, being sick, etc. What we can do is believe in them-always, no matter what-believe in them for who they are and believe they can! Our messages we send subtly with how we interact with our kiddos can be very powerful. Jumping in each time things get tough sends a message of 'You need my help to get through this'. I'm here to tell you, they really don't. Certainly, we, as parents, are guiding, supporting, loving along the way as well as taking opportunities to talk/share, but we have to give kids the space/time breathing room to act on their own in their own lives. What does this look like for preschoolers? Well, giving children freedom to be part of the process when choosing meals, clothing, activities for the day etc. Don't second guess their decisions-don't ask them several times 'are you sure?', quietly allow them to choose, then observe. You will be so amazed at what you see. In the classroom, we get to see this play out everyday and it's astonishing to us what we see-amazing really! For example, it's 45 degrees and your child chooses not to take a jacket into school . Allow that decision to play out. They are learning what 45 degrees is-us telling them it's 'cold' or 'chilly' is too abstract. They need to experience the outcome of their decision-this would be considered a natural consequence. The outcome might be they will get cold. Or, maybe they won't-kids are little hot boxes and don't feel temperature in the same way we do. Ultimately, we want kids to know how to read their own bodies not only when dressing themselves, but also eating. We shouldn't be afraid! They are wired to do this-Maria Montessori says children are constructing themselves-they are learning about themselves and they are pretty darn good at it, if we can step aside a bit and allow them some space.
Going to the bathroom is another example where parents can just listen for their child's clues. Asking a child constantly if they have to go to the bathroom can be frustrating. Again, the message we send is 'you need our reminding to listen to your body'. There's nothing wrong with occasionally reminding-particularly in the beginning of potty training, but be careful about over doing it. Too many words lead to no message being heard at all. Please don't force your child to use the bathroom-if you ask, they say no, leave it at that. It's ok if you aren't going to be near a bathroom or you're traveling a long distance. If they say no, they can probably wait. And, if not, they may have an accident and that's ok too. There's a lot of room for grace-understanding and patience when it comes to children learning. They are IN process-they don't have it figured out (and, frankly neither to do we :)).
Be mindful of when you move in and disrupt an opportunity for your child to express themselves or make a decision. Don't be afraid of what they may want to do. Talk to them about what they're thinking-what their plan is etc. They have some pretty creative thoughts and ideas-let them practice at home while they're under your care and they will amaze you! Also, try not to overact when things don't go well, or when feelings are hurt. Showing compassion and empathy is wonderful, but trying to make it go away or fix it quickly is not necessary.
www.CMontessori.com
What I'm finding a lot with some of our young families is that parents want to protect their children from being uncomfortable, sad, or going without something. This can very dangerous. We know from being in the classroom everyday that kids are adaptable, can make decisions, can think critically about situations, ask great questions, can process through challenging processes, love one another, show grace, and can solve conflict and are ok if they are disappointed or sad for a brief time. Bouncing back, living through difficult things, then realizing it's ok, is a huge life skill. As our kids grow up, we can not keep them from the ick side of life. We can not keep them from having their feelings hurt, not having a turn, not being invited, being sick, etc. What we can do is believe in them-always, no matter what-believe in them for who they are and believe they can! Our messages we send subtly with how we interact with our kiddos can be very powerful. Jumping in each time things get tough sends a message of 'You need my help to get through this'. I'm here to tell you, they really don't. Certainly, we, as parents, are guiding, supporting, loving along the way as well as taking opportunities to talk/share, but we have to give kids the space/time breathing room to act on their own in their own lives. What does this look like for preschoolers? Well, giving children freedom to be part of the process when choosing meals, clothing, activities for the day etc. Don't second guess their decisions-don't ask them several times 'are you sure?', quietly allow them to choose, then observe. You will be so amazed at what you see. In the classroom, we get to see this play out everyday and it's astonishing to us what we see-amazing really! For example, it's 45 degrees and your child chooses not to take a jacket into school . Allow that decision to play out. They are learning what 45 degrees is-us telling them it's 'cold' or 'chilly' is too abstract. They need to experience the outcome of their decision-this would be considered a natural consequence. The outcome might be they will get cold. Or, maybe they won't-kids are little hot boxes and don't feel temperature in the same way we do. Ultimately, we want kids to know how to read their own bodies not only when dressing themselves, but also eating. We shouldn't be afraid! They are wired to do this-Maria Montessori says children are constructing themselves-they are learning about themselves and they are pretty darn good at it, if we can step aside a bit and allow them some space.
Going to the bathroom is another example where parents can just listen for their child's clues. Asking a child constantly if they have to go to the bathroom can be frustrating. Again, the message we send is 'you need our reminding to listen to your body'. There's nothing wrong with occasionally reminding-particularly in the beginning of potty training, but be careful about over doing it. Too many words lead to no message being heard at all. Please don't force your child to use the bathroom-if you ask, they say no, leave it at that. It's ok if you aren't going to be near a bathroom or you're traveling a long distance. If they say no, they can probably wait. And, if not, they may have an accident and that's ok too. There's a lot of room for grace-understanding and patience when it comes to children learning. They are IN process-they don't have it figured out (and, frankly neither to do we :)).
Be mindful of when you move in and disrupt an opportunity for your child to express themselves or make a decision. Don't be afraid of what they may want to do. Talk to them about what they're thinking-what their plan is etc. They have some pretty creative thoughts and ideas-let them practice at home while they're under your care and they will amaze you! Also, try not to overact when things don't go well, or when feelings are hurt. Showing compassion and empathy is wonderful, but trying to make it go away or fix it quickly is not necessary.
www.CMontessori.com
Friday, March 21, 2014
To Do or Not To Do...Kindergarten planners/notebooks
There is a lot of discussion around Kindergarten expectations these days. Unfortunately, with the main focus on performance, testing, and standards, many are completely ignoring the most important thing and that is what is developmentally appropriate, what does brain development say about children and learning and what exactly do children NEED to learn and who decides WHEN they learn it. Competing with other countries and preparing for the job market are not two reasons that are any more important than the above mentioned.
I honestly think about my school, the students, Montessori philosophy and education soooo much. My love for children and how they learn is so much a part of who I am. I love to discuss it, chew on and challenge myself to think deeply about decisions we make at Community Montessori.
One item of interest for us has been the idea of Kindergarten notebooks/planners/contracts/work plans. When I worked at another Montessori school, the Kindergartners had notebooks which held assignments in them put in primarily by the teacher. There can be many 'rules' around these types of things, but often times, the students 'have' to finish their notebook work before choosing other work, or teachers have to 'check' their work, or if they don't finish their notebooks, they have carry the work over the next day. Since opening my school, we've experimented with some variations of the mentioned above, but each time, we struggled with logistics and management of it, mostly by the adults-we were deciding what works children were doing, they were unsure of what was in their notebooks, making it even more teacher dependent b/c we had to remind them what work they were to be doing, they weren't concentrating on much of it b/c they hadn't chosen it nor were they interested in it. It was our chosen work for them.
After making a few changes, observing, discussing and chewing, I had an a-ha moment. The kindergartners, with the exception of maybe one or two students truly disliked their notebooks. They complained, grumbled, and asked to 'take a break' for their notebooks often. I thought to myself, why are we doing this? I believe in children, I believe in choice, I believe children direct their learning and know what they are ready for. I believe in repetition of work, I believe in allowing children to be independent and in charge of their learning. The notebooks/planners worked against all of this. So, after consulting a dear Montessori mentor, who suggested just sitting down with the Kindergartners and chatting, I did so. I wish I had a video running during the conversation...first, Kindergartners are a blast to hang out with and chat with, but second, I told them that the teachers noticed that they didn't really enjoy their notebooks. If you could have felt the room, many of them took a deep sigh and started saying things like this: 'I hate my notebook', "My notebook is so boring', 'My notebook makes me so tired', 'My notebook is too hard'......Wow-that was all I needed to hear. So, we talked about not doing them and we also talked about the many areas of the classroom and the importance of choosing from different areas throughout their day. They were so articulate about their desire and took seriously expressing their work and how they spend their days.
So, the experiment began...trust me, the teachers were cringing a bit at the beginning (me included!)...we were wondering how much art we could tolerate if it wasn't balanced with some other areas...we wondered how much socializing we could stand while they adjusted to their new found freedom w/o their notebooks. We wondered, will they ever choose works we consistently wrote in their notebooks, works they were showing aversion to b/c we were clearly placing more importance on some works than others?? The truth was, we needed to allow time to pass to allow them to 'live' in this new system. Kinks needed to be worked out and they needed to learn to TRUST that we were really trusting them. And, the teachers needed to really walk out our trust for them.
It's been several weeks now and I can say, I am thrilled and feel very comfortable with the K's and their work choices. Certainly, they continue to work with teachers and are being shown new individualized lessons, but their work cycles have been so fascinating to watch. We realize that this change will result in many things that will not even be apparent to us right away, but what I have noticed thus far is wonderful: Most of the kids, most of the days, are making great work choices and flowing nicely through many areas of the classroom-the K's LOVE art and LOVE practical life and these works have so much to offer them-order, independence, concentration, coordination-they are following sequential processes and developing longer attention spans. While they clean, they are caring for their environment, while tending to important details. I have also noticed that even w/o direct work with certain math/language materials, those skills are developing-wow! Montessorians know how interwoven the Montessori environment is-one work in this area helps support development in another-it's truly magical and unreal to observe. Also, children get a lot out of being around certain work, not necessarily choosing it-we know that if a child is doing an art work or Geography work while listening to a lesson with the 'magic e', they are also getting that lesson on some level.
So thankful that the teachers at CMS had the courage to take this step and watch it unfold.
Each day that passes, We feel more comfortable allowing the K's to live w/o their notebooks. We are excited to continue to observe and see what other things we can learn from these incredibly gifted little people.
www.CMontessori.com
I honestly think about my school, the students, Montessori philosophy and education soooo much. My love for children and how they learn is so much a part of who I am. I love to discuss it, chew on and challenge myself to think deeply about decisions we make at Community Montessori.
One item of interest for us has been the idea of Kindergarten notebooks/planners/contracts/work plans. When I worked at another Montessori school, the Kindergartners had notebooks which held assignments in them put in primarily by the teacher. There can be many 'rules' around these types of things, but often times, the students 'have' to finish their notebook work before choosing other work, or teachers have to 'check' their work, or if they don't finish their notebooks, they have carry the work over the next day. Since opening my school, we've experimented with some variations of the mentioned above, but each time, we struggled with logistics and management of it, mostly by the adults-we were deciding what works children were doing, they were unsure of what was in their notebooks, making it even more teacher dependent b/c we had to remind them what work they were to be doing, they weren't concentrating on much of it b/c they hadn't chosen it nor were they interested in it. It was our chosen work for them.
After making a few changes, observing, discussing and chewing, I had an a-ha moment. The kindergartners, with the exception of maybe one or two students truly disliked their notebooks. They complained, grumbled, and asked to 'take a break' for their notebooks often. I thought to myself, why are we doing this? I believe in children, I believe in choice, I believe children direct their learning and know what they are ready for. I believe in repetition of work, I believe in allowing children to be independent and in charge of their learning. The notebooks/planners worked against all of this. So, after consulting a dear Montessori mentor, who suggested just sitting down with the Kindergartners and chatting, I did so. I wish I had a video running during the conversation...first, Kindergartners are a blast to hang out with and chat with, but second, I told them that the teachers noticed that they didn't really enjoy their notebooks. If you could have felt the room, many of them took a deep sigh and started saying things like this: 'I hate my notebook', "My notebook is so boring', 'My notebook makes me so tired', 'My notebook is too hard'......Wow-that was all I needed to hear. So, we talked about not doing them and we also talked about the many areas of the classroom and the importance of choosing from different areas throughout their day. They were so articulate about their desire and took seriously expressing their work and how they spend their days.
So, the experiment began...trust me, the teachers were cringing a bit at the beginning (me included!)...we were wondering how much art we could tolerate if it wasn't balanced with some other areas...we wondered how much socializing we could stand while they adjusted to their new found freedom w/o their notebooks. We wondered, will they ever choose works we consistently wrote in their notebooks, works they were showing aversion to b/c we were clearly placing more importance on some works than others?? The truth was, we needed to allow time to pass to allow them to 'live' in this new system. Kinks needed to be worked out and they needed to learn to TRUST that we were really trusting them. And, the teachers needed to really walk out our trust for them.
It's been several weeks now and I can say, I am thrilled and feel very comfortable with the K's and their work choices. Certainly, they continue to work with teachers and are being shown new individualized lessons, but their work cycles have been so fascinating to watch. We realize that this change will result in many things that will not even be apparent to us right away, but what I have noticed thus far is wonderful: Most of the kids, most of the days, are making great work choices and flowing nicely through many areas of the classroom-the K's LOVE art and LOVE practical life and these works have so much to offer them-order, independence, concentration, coordination-they are following sequential processes and developing longer attention spans. While they clean, they are caring for their environment, while tending to important details. I have also noticed that even w/o direct work with certain math/language materials, those skills are developing-wow! Montessorians know how interwoven the Montessori environment is-one work in this area helps support development in another-it's truly magical and unreal to observe. Also, children get a lot out of being around certain work, not necessarily choosing it-we know that if a child is doing an art work or Geography work while listening to a lesson with the 'magic e', they are also getting that lesson on some level.
So thankful that the teachers at CMS had the courage to take this step and watch it unfold.
Each day that passes, We feel more comfortable allowing the K's to live w/o their notebooks. We are excited to continue to observe and see what other things we can learn from these incredibly gifted little people.
www.CMontessori.com
Sunday, March 2, 2014
How Parents Can Support Their Montessori Child
Parents often ask what they can do to support their child as they spend time in the Montessori environment. They want to do know, what can we do at home to help what is happening in the classroom?
We love this question because there is a lot parents can do to help support their child's development:
1. Follow their lead as much as you can. Maria Montessori said, 'Never help a child with a task they can do themselves'. This may mean adjusting your schedule to allow more time to let them get dressed by themselves, get some of their own meal, or clean up any messes they have made. Think about this in very basic terms: if your child is 3 and attending school, they probably are able to do much more independently than you realize.
2. Set up areas in your home where your child can do things independently-shelves with things they use often (art supplies, books, games/works etc). Place cups/bowls/pitchers in a place where children can access them to get their own snacks/drinks. Place hooks in places in your house where you could like them to place things so they can have a routine of hanging their coat/backpack/tote bags etc in a place when they return home. Then, when they get ready to go, they will know where those things are.
3. Pictures can be very helpful with routine. Take pictures of your morning/evening routines-place pictures in a basket. When it's time to start the routine, your child can complete each picture (brushing teeth, eating breakfast etc), then place the picture in another basket when they have completed it-this is concrete way for them to know what needs to be done. This can help eliminate all the reminders. Remember too that it can take awhile to get used to using the pics, but when they do, they should be able to be independent with their routines.
4. Don't overplay their school experience, meaning, allow them to enjoy their time at school and talk about what they do there without too many questions. There's certainly nothing wrong with asking how their day was or asking about a work they did, but resist the urge to talk a lot about school or ask too many questions about how they are spending their time. Most likely, they will share with you on their own when given time/space to do so. Also, please don't tell your children to do specific works when they are at school. This can disrupt what their own choices are when they get to school. We sometimes have kids come to school saying 'my mom/dad want me to choose this work....' or my mom/dad said I need to choose a language work today'.....their time in the classroom is theirs. It's important that we (adults) don't emphasize some works as more important than others. Every work in the classroom is important, particularly if a child is choosing it. Something from each work is calling a child to it-we will never know all that is happening in a child when they choose a work. Teachers work hard to protect their choice while also giving lessons and even directing children to areas/works. But, this is done in the context of lots of observation of the children-seeing what their needs are as well as giving them support when needed.
5. Conversation-talking/listening to you child is so critical to their communication development. In the classroom, we ask the children to be next to our body when talking, we remind them to make eye contact and we do our best to talk to them in this way as well. When we bring two children together during a conflict, we emphasize taking turns talking-each child will be listened to, but they need to talk one at a time. We also help them figure out the words to describe how they're feeling or what they are asking. Children have very advanced thoughts/emotions, but many times don't have the words to express appropriately. Adults/teachers can help them develop the vocabulary to help them learn to express themselves. This takes much repetition and patience, but the fruit we see as children develop their skills is wonderful.
Hope these tips help. Would love to hear any feedback if you have tried or are trying any of these things. It's helpful to other parents to hear from moms/dads who are using things that are successful in their home.
www.CMontessori.com
We love this question because there is a lot parents can do to help support their child's development:
1. Follow their lead as much as you can. Maria Montessori said, 'Never help a child with a task they can do themselves'. This may mean adjusting your schedule to allow more time to let them get dressed by themselves, get some of their own meal, or clean up any messes they have made. Think about this in very basic terms: if your child is 3 and attending school, they probably are able to do much more independently than you realize.
2. Set up areas in your home where your child can do things independently-shelves with things they use often (art supplies, books, games/works etc). Place cups/bowls/pitchers in a place where children can access them to get their own snacks/drinks. Place hooks in places in your house where you could like them to place things so they can have a routine of hanging their coat/backpack/tote bags etc in a place when they return home. Then, when they get ready to go, they will know where those things are.
3. Pictures can be very helpful with routine. Take pictures of your morning/evening routines-place pictures in a basket. When it's time to start the routine, your child can complete each picture (brushing teeth, eating breakfast etc), then place the picture in another basket when they have completed it-this is concrete way for them to know what needs to be done. This can help eliminate all the reminders. Remember too that it can take awhile to get used to using the pics, but when they do, they should be able to be independent with their routines.
4. Don't overplay their school experience, meaning, allow them to enjoy their time at school and talk about what they do there without too many questions. There's certainly nothing wrong with asking how their day was or asking about a work they did, but resist the urge to talk a lot about school or ask too many questions about how they are spending their time. Most likely, they will share with you on their own when given time/space to do so. Also, please don't tell your children to do specific works when they are at school. This can disrupt what their own choices are when they get to school. We sometimes have kids come to school saying 'my mom/dad want me to choose this work....' or my mom/dad said I need to choose a language work today'.....their time in the classroom is theirs. It's important that we (adults) don't emphasize some works as more important than others. Every work in the classroom is important, particularly if a child is choosing it. Something from each work is calling a child to it-we will never know all that is happening in a child when they choose a work. Teachers work hard to protect their choice while also giving lessons and even directing children to areas/works. But, this is done in the context of lots of observation of the children-seeing what their needs are as well as giving them support when needed.
5. Conversation-talking/listening to you child is so critical to their communication development. In the classroom, we ask the children to be next to our body when talking, we remind them to make eye contact and we do our best to talk to them in this way as well. When we bring two children together during a conflict, we emphasize taking turns talking-each child will be listened to, but they need to talk one at a time. We also help them figure out the words to describe how they're feeling or what they are asking. Children have very advanced thoughts/emotions, but many times don't have the words to express appropriately. Adults/teachers can help them develop the vocabulary to help them learn to express themselves. This takes much repetition and patience, but the fruit we see as children develop their skills is wonderful.
Hope these tips help. Would love to hear any feedback if you have tried or are trying any of these things. It's helpful to other parents to hear from moms/dads who are using things that are successful in their home.
www.CMontessori.com
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Independence
Building independence is such an important part of what parents can nurture in their children and what we, as Montessorians, highly value in the classroom. In the prepared environment of the classroom, it's set up to allow children to be in charge of many, many decisions as they go through their day. Taking initiative, thinking, then finally acting is an important process that children must practice. Practicing being independent is a critical life skill as children will be making very important decisions before we know it and they must be able to discern, think critically, take perspective and finally act after they have thought through options. In our classroom the children make many decisions throughout their day, which leads to building confidence and building independence. As teachers, our role is so important-we have to observe and get to know each child intimately so we can best support and guide them as they develop and become who they are meant to be. Our decision to move in or not is tender and fragile and when not respected, can halt independence and send a message to a child that we don't believe in them. The teachers have to demonstrate self control and patience as we watch children-often times, their choices lead to consequences that aren't desirable, but are important in the learning process such as a mess, or hurt feelings, or a conflict, but that's ok. This is where learning happens.
Children arrive at school each day and they have learned what to do: they organize their items they bring to school (backpacks, coats, snow gear, lunch etc). They watch as other children organize, they get reminders from teachers and are shown how to do it, they work very hard making decisions as to how things can fit on their hook. They check their folder to see if they have any work from the prior day, then wash their hands. As they enter the classroom, they greet their friends, notice any changes in the classroom and get acclimated to start their day. After they wash their hands, they can get started on their work. Some children know exactly what they want to choose, others walk around and think about where they would like to start. Others, may need some support from a teacher to make a choice. As they choose work, interact with friends and ask for or join lessons, their brain is hard at work-To allow children the space (freedom) and time (freedom) to engage their brain/heart/bodies into where they are spending time is such a gift. We want to allow them the space and time to make choices, then experience what that choice brings. There are many built in structures/boundaries in the classroom that children learn to navigate through. I love thinking of the many questions children must ask themselves as they work in the classroom: what work do I want to choose? who do I want to socialize with? is this a rug work or table work? is this a work that requires being done on the tile (water/paint)? how do I do this work? do I need a lesson? who can ask to give me a lesson? how can I communicate with my teachers and friends? can I find a table? what materials do I need to do this work? The list goes on and on.....
Parents can help foster independence at home. When engaging with your child, ask questions rather than tell or direct. Give them opportunity to engage. Instead of just saying something like 'clean your room'. Take them to their room and say something like this: 'I notice you have a lot of clothes on the floor and your puzzle is still out from yesterday and I see that the legos didn't get put back in the bin'. "What do you think we can do about this?".....Children are so creative and helpful-when we engage them in this way, they feel respected and believed in. Give them a choice as to when they can clean it up-'Would you like to clean your room before or after dinner?'.....young children will need assistance in a big task such as cleaning a room-help them organize items into bins or on trays. Less is definitely more-if your home is cluttered with many toys, might be a good idea to scale down a bit. So many things can be overwhelming for parents and children. Engage children in helping out with preparing a meal. Young children can help set a table, help with grocery shopping and preparing food. There are many kitchen tools that are easy for children to use. They will love helping and may even enjoy eating the meal more if they helped prepare it. Children can also be given freedom in what they wear-fill their closet/drawers with acceptable items, then allow them to choose-this is an area they can be creative and be independent. Listening is a great way to learn about your child's likes and dislikes. Giving them freedom to express themselves is very healthy and leads to them having a positive sense of self.
Have fun with your kids-would love to hear how you help your child build independence!
www.cmontessori.com
Children arrive at school each day and they have learned what to do: they organize their items they bring to school (backpacks, coats, snow gear, lunch etc). They watch as other children organize, they get reminders from teachers and are shown how to do it, they work very hard making decisions as to how things can fit on their hook. They check their folder to see if they have any work from the prior day, then wash their hands. As they enter the classroom, they greet their friends, notice any changes in the classroom and get acclimated to start their day. After they wash their hands, they can get started on their work. Some children know exactly what they want to choose, others walk around and think about where they would like to start. Others, may need some support from a teacher to make a choice. As they choose work, interact with friends and ask for or join lessons, their brain is hard at work-To allow children the space (freedom) and time (freedom) to engage their brain/heart/bodies into where they are spending time is such a gift. We want to allow them the space and time to make choices, then experience what that choice brings. There are many built in structures/boundaries in the classroom that children learn to navigate through. I love thinking of the many questions children must ask themselves as they work in the classroom: what work do I want to choose? who do I want to socialize with? is this a rug work or table work? is this a work that requires being done on the tile (water/paint)? how do I do this work? do I need a lesson? who can ask to give me a lesson? how can I communicate with my teachers and friends? can I find a table? what materials do I need to do this work? The list goes on and on.....
Parents can help foster independence at home. When engaging with your child, ask questions rather than tell or direct. Give them opportunity to engage. Instead of just saying something like 'clean your room'. Take them to their room and say something like this: 'I notice you have a lot of clothes on the floor and your puzzle is still out from yesterday and I see that the legos didn't get put back in the bin'. "What do you think we can do about this?".....Children are so creative and helpful-when we engage them in this way, they feel respected and believed in. Give them a choice as to when they can clean it up-'Would you like to clean your room before or after dinner?'.....young children will need assistance in a big task such as cleaning a room-help them organize items into bins or on trays. Less is definitely more-if your home is cluttered with many toys, might be a good idea to scale down a bit. So many things can be overwhelming for parents and children. Engage children in helping out with preparing a meal. Young children can help set a table, help with grocery shopping and preparing food. There are many kitchen tools that are easy for children to use. They will love helping and may even enjoy eating the meal more if they helped prepare it. Children can also be given freedom in what they wear-fill their closet/drawers with acceptable items, then allow them to choose-this is an area they can be creative and be independent. Listening is a great way to learn about your child's likes and dislikes. Giving them freedom to express themselves is very healthy and leads to them having a positive sense of self.
Have fun with your kids-would love to hear how you help your child build independence!
www.cmontessori.com
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
The Connected School
One of the many passions of my heart when I opened my school was that I wanted to help create community and feel of connectedness. I believe schools need to feed a child's spirit and be a place where they know they are loved, valued, and have a sense of purpose within the classroom community. I believe strongly that building relationships with the children and allowing relationships to develop and grow among the students is one of the leading contributors to success in the classroom. Unfortunately, schools are becoming machines for tasks, content, standards, and tests that individuality is being ignored and discouraged. Children are not given opportunity to be themselves, share their strengths and interests, pursue things they want to learn. I believe school should be just that-a place where children can be nurtured and supported, encouraged and loved. Along with those things, they should be expected to be responsible and respectful and held accountable for their actions and work. In Montessori classrooms all over the world, these things happen naturally. We believe in children-we know they are capable and have a lot to offer. We believe they can be responsible. We listen to them-listen to their thoughts, dreams. and ideas and take them seriously. This leads to very exciting learning!
This doesn't mean that there aren't challenges in Montessori classrooms-there certainly are. Challenges and issues that are in the world enter the classroom. But the way they are dealt with is very different. We approach conflict from a relational place-helping children understand how their actions and words effect those around them. We give them words and help them express their emotions. They don't necessarily know how to do this. We are supportive of their development-not angry and punitive of their mistakes. Don't get me wrong, teachers can feel frustrated, but we come back to what we believe-we believe in the goodness of the child even if the child is not showing their goodness. We allow children to speak directly to one another and be involved in the problem solving. The teacher doesn't have the answers-we are working together to find solutions and deal with conflicts as they arise individually. I can't tell you how many times a child finds a solution for a problem that a teacher would not have thought about if she/he thought all day. Children are empathetic, creative, thoughtful, caring, forgiving-we have to allow them time and space to show us and use opportunities that occur to practice these developing skills.
Sometimes, parents are shocked and disappointed when their child does something 'wrong' like hurts another child, or says something unkind, or takes something from another child. But, these things don't mean there is something wrong with your child. They are learning social graces and social skills while they are playing. They don't necessarily know how to ask for something or wait their turn or say things tactfully. They are figuring it out and really need our support and guidance to help them learn. Sometimes, parents go directly to punishment, or just telling a child what to do instead. Sometimes, it's great to just ask questions to your child about how they're feeling or why they did something. Often times, you will hear something you may not have thought of. We should not assume the worst in our child or a child in the classroom when something doesn't go well. Instead, challenge yourself to try and look at the situation through your child's eyes. I'm not saying, they shouldn't be held accountable for their words/actions, but sometimes our tone/irritation or frustration comes through very strong which can overshadow an opportunity for learning.
Challenge yourself to observe your child/children vs inserting yourself into situations. It is difficult to say nothing at all, but see what happens if you do. Maybe even take notes-if you go to a park/playground observe other children and other parents and note how everyone is engaging. It would be an interesting conversation to have if other moms/dads did this. Let me know if you do it!
www.CMontessori.com
This doesn't mean that there aren't challenges in Montessori classrooms-there certainly are. Challenges and issues that are in the world enter the classroom. But the way they are dealt with is very different. We approach conflict from a relational place-helping children understand how their actions and words effect those around them. We give them words and help them express their emotions. They don't necessarily know how to do this. We are supportive of their development-not angry and punitive of their mistakes. Don't get me wrong, teachers can feel frustrated, but we come back to what we believe-we believe in the goodness of the child even if the child is not showing their goodness. We allow children to speak directly to one another and be involved in the problem solving. The teacher doesn't have the answers-we are working together to find solutions and deal with conflicts as they arise individually. I can't tell you how many times a child finds a solution for a problem that a teacher would not have thought about if she/he thought all day. Children are empathetic, creative, thoughtful, caring, forgiving-we have to allow them time and space to show us and use opportunities that occur to practice these developing skills.
Sometimes, parents are shocked and disappointed when their child does something 'wrong' like hurts another child, or says something unkind, or takes something from another child. But, these things don't mean there is something wrong with your child. They are learning social graces and social skills while they are playing. They don't necessarily know how to ask for something or wait their turn or say things tactfully. They are figuring it out and really need our support and guidance to help them learn. Sometimes, parents go directly to punishment, or just telling a child what to do instead. Sometimes, it's great to just ask questions to your child about how they're feeling or why they did something. Often times, you will hear something you may not have thought of. We should not assume the worst in our child or a child in the classroom when something doesn't go well. Instead, challenge yourself to try and look at the situation through your child's eyes. I'm not saying, they shouldn't be held accountable for their words/actions, but sometimes our tone/irritation or frustration comes through very strong which can overshadow an opportunity for learning.
Challenge yourself to observe your child/children vs inserting yourself into situations. It is difficult to say nothing at all, but see what happens if you do. Maybe even take notes-if you go to a park/playground observe other children and other parents and note how everyone is engaging. It would be an interesting conversation to have if other moms/dads did this. Let me know if you do it!
www.CMontessori.com
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Discovering the Neurological Soundness of Montessori
The staff of Community Montessori attended the Cincinnati Montessori Society's yearly conference a couple weekends ago. It's always such a wonderful day full of meeting up with old friends, listening to wonderful, knowledgeable speakers and Montessorians and an opportunity to shop the vendors that offer such beautiful materials and supportive work for the classroom.
This year the keynote speaker was Dr. Dee Joy Coulter. Dr. Coulter is a Neuroscience educator. She applies brain research to educational issues. She presented such a strong argument, along with research, for Montessori schools/classrooms. I sat truly wondering why Montessori is not at the forefront of the education discussion. What we're learning about the brain is providing incredible insight as to how children learn and what environments best suit their needs developmentally, cognitively, and otherwise. To ignore this stunning research is letting our children down. Not only is this brain research and it's implications being ignore, in many schools around the world, things are being done the polar opposite to what children need.
Dr. Coulter walked through many stages of brain development and what is happening at various stages. Her notes can be found here www.cincinnatimontessorisociety.org I won't go into all of those details, but I want to share some of what I took away.
Children need to experience learning rhythms, meaning they need to be given the freedom to choose, pace themselves and repeat activities many times to internalize information as well as build their focus, attention span, coordination and order. Children need to be experiencing a beginning, middle and end to their activities. For example, deciding to choose leaf polishing, taking the work off the shelf, taking the work to a table, putting on the leaf polishing necklace, getting the cotton ball wet, walking to plant and carefully polishing/cleaning the leaf, putting the dirty cotton ball in the garbage, returning to the work at the table, putting the necklace back on the tray, pushing in the chair and returning the work to the shelf. In this work, there is a clear beginning, middle and end which brings about a feeling of accomplishment, an inner satisfaction and self confidence.
Children need to learn how to calm themselves. This may be things like taking a walk, reading a book, sitting outside, doing yoga, listening to music etc. The ability to be calm and create calm is an important life skill. Children are able to find peace and calm in the Montessori classroom-the rhythms and order of the classroom can help children develop the ability to be calm. Montessori classrooms invite children to slow down, breathe and take time. It's a natural part of the culture of the classroom. Being respectful and calm in the workspace respects the work being done-it's not ok to disrupt one another when they are working-work is honored and the child working is respected and protected.
In order to provide this space for children, teachers have to develop skills as well. Teachers ability to calm and bring peace is an important aspect. Teachers can not be chaotic, loud, or disrespectful. Teachers need to call on children's higher nature. Maria Montessori said, 'Look to the Child Who Has Not Yet Arrived'.....
I encourage you to read more about brain development and Montessori-it will no doubt impact you.
www.CMontessori.com
This year the keynote speaker was Dr. Dee Joy Coulter. Dr. Coulter is a Neuroscience educator. She applies brain research to educational issues. She presented such a strong argument, along with research, for Montessori schools/classrooms. I sat truly wondering why Montessori is not at the forefront of the education discussion. What we're learning about the brain is providing incredible insight as to how children learn and what environments best suit their needs developmentally, cognitively, and otherwise. To ignore this stunning research is letting our children down. Not only is this brain research and it's implications being ignore, in many schools around the world, things are being done the polar opposite to what children need.
Dr. Coulter walked through many stages of brain development and what is happening at various stages. Her notes can be found here www.cincinnatimontessorisociety.org I won't go into all of those details, but I want to share some of what I took away.
Children need to experience learning rhythms, meaning they need to be given the freedom to choose, pace themselves and repeat activities many times to internalize information as well as build their focus, attention span, coordination and order. Children need to be experiencing a beginning, middle and end to their activities. For example, deciding to choose leaf polishing, taking the work off the shelf, taking the work to a table, putting on the leaf polishing necklace, getting the cotton ball wet, walking to plant and carefully polishing/cleaning the leaf, putting the dirty cotton ball in the garbage, returning to the work at the table, putting the necklace back on the tray, pushing in the chair and returning the work to the shelf. In this work, there is a clear beginning, middle and end which brings about a feeling of accomplishment, an inner satisfaction and self confidence.
Children need to learn how to calm themselves. This may be things like taking a walk, reading a book, sitting outside, doing yoga, listening to music etc. The ability to be calm and create calm is an important life skill. Children are able to find peace and calm in the Montessori classroom-the rhythms and order of the classroom can help children develop the ability to be calm. Montessori classrooms invite children to slow down, breathe and take time. It's a natural part of the culture of the classroom. Being respectful and calm in the workspace respects the work being done-it's not ok to disrupt one another when they are working-work is honored and the child working is respected and protected.
In order to provide this space for children, teachers have to develop skills as well. Teachers ability to calm and bring peace is an important aspect. Teachers can not be chaotic, loud, or disrespectful. Teachers need to call on children's higher nature. Maria Montessori said, 'Look to the Child Who Has Not Yet Arrived'.....
I encourage you to read more about brain development and Montessori-it will no doubt impact you.
www.CMontessori.com
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Who Are Our Kids and What Can They Do?
I used to be a mom to a 1 year old and 3 year old and a 5 year old and 7 year old and then a 10 year old and 12 year old.....now, today, I am a mom to a 15 year old and 18 year old......wowzee~how did that happen? Time really does fly, life goes by so quickly....I used to always think, I can't remember my kids younger and I can't imagine them older, then, voila-here we are! In some ways I have learned a lot being a parent, in other ways, I know nothing. ;)
I have such a strong belief in children. In the classroom, our view/beliefs of children are so heart felt and dictate how we are and how we function. As a parent, it's more difficult to carry that through day to day, living out the hard stuff of parenting, the ups and downs of development, challenges, etc. But, as I have continued on my faith journey, God has shown me so clearly how uniquely He has created my boys (and all of us!) and that He has given them such gifts and strengths and that as a parent, I want to encourage. Unfortunately, the world has such a narrow view of people/children. The world views children in a certain way and dictates what determines a 'good' kid over a 'bad' kid. The world looks at behavior, grades, performance, looks, accomplishments, who they are associated with etc. In our classroom, the belief is that every child is valued and has something to offer and brings gifts to the classroom. We believe that, even if/when we don't see it. The truth about our children is that they are strong, capable, resilient, flexible, creative, compassionate, helpful, bright, inclusive, insightful, patient, intuitive....need I say more?!
So, if/when these qualities are not being demonstrated (or, if a child is not yet 'normalized' as Maria Montessori says), what can we do to encourage them and how can we help a child bring those qualities to the forefront? As a Montessorian, I believe that encouraging independence and allowing children to freely develop and become comfortable with who they are, knowing themselves and really stepping out in what interests them is the way to help these qualities develop. I have a couple of examples that may bring these things to light:
* Try not to move in on your child too quickly when they are feeling frustrated. In the classroom, we allow children to work through many things that they may be having difficulty doing. Children at school are working on getting their coats etc on independently. Allowing them to work through those challenges is giving them practice doing it themselves. A child may work on zipping their coat for a minute or two and not be able to get it, but the work they do trying is valuable. If we were to move in quickly and do it for them, that takes away the opportunity for them to learn how to do it themselves. Sometimes, a child may try and then start yelling or crying or getting upset. We encourage them to use their words. We may say, 'Let me know if you need help'. It's amazing how they can pull it together and ask for help. Our tendency is to move in and stop the frustrating moment or stop them from crying, but that isn't helpful to their independence. And, the small areas of independence a child can have can actually decrease overall frustration because they are able to manage themselves in some situations. This process is slow and happens over time as new skills are learned and mastered. Thinking about our long terms hopes for our children can help us be strong in the small moments that are difficult.
* Think about how you manage your time and the time you allow for your children to get ready. Our environment at school is prepared, intentional and tended to multiple times a day to have our classroom ready to promote success and independence for the children. At home, you can think about how you can arrange your schedule to allow for the time needed for children to be more independent. Are they able to reach their items to get ready? Are their shoes/coats etc in a place where they can get them w/o help. It would be great if those things are consistently kept in the same place and they can learn to return them to the same place. Can you set up your kitchen in a way that children can get snacks/drinks independently? You can place plastic wear in a drawer or on a shelf that children can access easily.
* Listen more, talk less. As adults, we can assume a lot about what a child wants/needs based on their behavior. But, it can often times be inaccurate. Allow/encourage your child to talk to you about his/her needs. Help them figure things out by communicating with them vs moving in and doing for them based on what you think is going on. Taking a child by the hand, walking them to another area, outside or away from the immediate situation can allow for a breath to be taken and the situation to be assessed.
* Take emotions out-this is very difficult to do with our children. We love them so much that we are deeply emotionally connected. But, not over reacting on either end keeps things peaceful and calm. Our children will be sad, they will be frustrated, they will be angry. Don't be afraid of these emotions. Helping children develop strategies and communicate effectively during these times are important life skills. If we swoop in and try to just 'fix' things quickly or apply a temporary band-aid, our children are not learning to manage themselves and their emotions. If they can learn to do that, work through conflict and frustration, they are on the road to being an independent, functional adult.
Taking this road to allow your children to become more independent, confident and capable is challenging, takes patience and requires us to face some of our own 'stuff' as we deal with our children. But, I promise you, it will be the most fruitful. We see amazing things in our classroom all the time-the children being focused, attentive, and orderly. We see great strides in children as they learn how to do new things, communicate, and go about their day managing the processes and procedures of the classroom. This is GOOD stuff!! Bringing in that same philosophy to your home will no doubt bring you peace and help to build a loving, encouraging relationship with your children.
www.CMontessori.com
I have such a strong belief in children. In the classroom, our view/beliefs of children are so heart felt and dictate how we are and how we function. As a parent, it's more difficult to carry that through day to day, living out the hard stuff of parenting, the ups and downs of development, challenges, etc. But, as I have continued on my faith journey, God has shown me so clearly how uniquely He has created my boys (and all of us!) and that He has given them such gifts and strengths and that as a parent, I want to encourage. Unfortunately, the world has such a narrow view of people/children. The world views children in a certain way and dictates what determines a 'good' kid over a 'bad' kid. The world looks at behavior, grades, performance, looks, accomplishments, who they are associated with etc. In our classroom, the belief is that every child is valued and has something to offer and brings gifts to the classroom. We believe that, even if/when we don't see it. The truth about our children is that they are strong, capable, resilient, flexible, creative, compassionate, helpful, bright, inclusive, insightful, patient, intuitive....need I say more?!
So, if/when these qualities are not being demonstrated (or, if a child is not yet 'normalized' as Maria Montessori says), what can we do to encourage them and how can we help a child bring those qualities to the forefront? As a Montessorian, I believe that encouraging independence and allowing children to freely develop and become comfortable with who they are, knowing themselves and really stepping out in what interests them is the way to help these qualities develop. I have a couple of examples that may bring these things to light:
* Try not to move in on your child too quickly when they are feeling frustrated. In the classroom, we allow children to work through many things that they may be having difficulty doing. Children at school are working on getting their coats etc on independently. Allowing them to work through those challenges is giving them practice doing it themselves. A child may work on zipping their coat for a minute or two and not be able to get it, but the work they do trying is valuable. If we were to move in quickly and do it for them, that takes away the opportunity for them to learn how to do it themselves. Sometimes, a child may try and then start yelling or crying or getting upset. We encourage them to use their words. We may say, 'Let me know if you need help'. It's amazing how they can pull it together and ask for help. Our tendency is to move in and stop the frustrating moment or stop them from crying, but that isn't helpful to their independence. And, the small areas of independence a child can have can actually decrease overall frustration because they are able to manage themselves in some situations. This process is slow and happens over time as new skills are learned and mastered. Thinking about our long terms hopes for our children can help us be strong in the small moments that are difficult.
* Think about how you manage your time and the time you allow for your children to get ready. Our environment at school is prepared, intentional and tended to multiple times a day to have our classroom ready to promote success and independence for the children. At home, you can think about how you can arrange your schedule to allow for the time needed for children to be more independent. Are they able to reach their items to get ready? Are their shoes/coats etc in a place where they can get them w/o help. It would be great if those things are consistently kept in the same place and they can learn to return them to the same place. Can you set up your kitchen in a way that children can get snacks/drinks independently? You can place plastic wear in a drawer or on a shelf that children can access easily.
* Listen more, talk less. As adults, we can assume a lot about what a child wants/needs based on their behavior. But, it can often times be inaccurate. Allow/encourage your child to talk to you about his/her needs. Help them figure things out by communicating with them vs moving in and doing for them based on what you think is going on. Taking a child by the hand, walking them to another area, outside or away from the immediate situation can allow for a breath to be taken and the situation to be assessed.
* Take emotions out-this is very difficult to do with our children. We love them so much that we are deeply emotionally connected. But, not over reacting on either end keeps things peaceful and calm. Our children will be sad, they will be frustrated, they will be angry. Don't be afraid of these emotions. Helping children develop strategies and communicate effectively during these times are important life skills. If we swoop in and try to just 'fix' things quickly or apply a temporary band-aid, our children are not learning to manage themselves and their emotions. If they can learn to do that, work through conflict and frustration, they are on the road to being an independent, functional adult.
Taking this road to allow your children to become more independent, confident and capable is challenging, takes patience and requires us to face some of our own 'stuff' as we deal with our children. But, I promise you, it will be the most fruitful. We see amazing things in our classroom all the time-the children being focused, attentive, and orderly. We see great strides in children as they learn how to do new things, communicate, and go about their day managing the processes and procedures of the classroom. This is GOOD stuff!! Bringing in that same philosophy to your home will no doubt bring you peace and help to build a loving, encouraging relationship with your children.
www.CMontessori.com
Friday, February 8, 2013
"Powerhouse Problem Solvers"
I recently viewed the following video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcgtI_bC4sY
Anna Lee is the Director of Meadow Montessori School in Maryland. She said, 'Children are powerhouse problem solvers'.....LOVE this! Got me thinking.....how do we know what great problem solvers our children are if we don't allow them to sit in a problem, work through a challenge, or come up with solutions to a struggle. As parents we love our children so much...so deeply....it's almost painful at times. Often times, our instinct is to run and rescue them, save them from themselves or their problems. For some reason whether it's our own childhood experience or even just our culture that says, don't struggle, don't fail, or don't go through difficult times. However, these challenges, failures and difficult times can be such wonderful learning opportunities. As adults, we can all recall times in our lives when things were hard, we had a challenge that didn't seem could be overcome, or we were very sad or hurt. But, I think, if we're honest, we would also say those times were wonderful times of growth, times we realized we were stronger,more capable, or better prepared than we ever thought. What does this look like for our children? In our classroom, we see children struggle everyday with a problem or social situation that is difficult. I have a couple of examples from just this week: A new puzzle came out in our geography shelf. It's indeed a challenging puzzle. Two children were doing the puzzle-they took out all the pieces, worked about 2 minutes, then came to me asking for help. Knowing they hadn't worked very long, I said go back and keep trying. They once again came to me asking for help. I went to their rug and gave them a bit of verbal encouragement w/o touching their work, and they continued working. They began having some success so I moved away, then voila,they finished! They were so proud. If I would have moved in and done the puzzle for them, they wouldn't have experienced or known their ability to push through and figure it out.
Another example is that we have a handful of newer students who just started CMS in January. They have been learning how to get their snow clothes on to go outside. This is BIG work! If a child needs support, typically the teacher will give very detailed verbal suggestions as to how to put on a hat or coat. Yes, this takes a lot of time and often times, many days and even weeks for kids to become independent. We encourage our parents to allow their children to dress themselves as much as they can. Again, the tendency is the put things on your child rather than be patient while they dress themselves. If we put their snow gear on each time, they will not learn to do it themselves. It is often times a big struggle and can take a lot of trial and error. We have had kids go outside with their coats on upside down, but they are so proud that they can do it themselves. Sometimes, we can hinder a child's independence by doing too much for them; therefore, making them think they actually can't do those things. The fruit that comes from allowing our children to face their challenges take the time to problem solve will outweigh the time it takes to help our children do it themselves.
Allow your children to show you what problem solvers they can be~they really will blow you away!
www.CMontessori.com
Anna Lee is the Director of Meadow Montessori School in Maryland. She said, 'Children are powerhouse problem solvers'.....LOVE this! Got me thinking.....how do we know what great problem solvers our children are if we don't allow them to sit in a problem, work through a challenge, or come up with solutions to a struggle. As parents we love our children so much...so deeply....it's almost painful at times. Often times, our instinct is to run and rescue them, save them from themselves or their problems. For some reason whether it's our own childhood experience or even just our culture that says, don't struggle, don't fail, or don't go through difficult times. However, these challenges, failures and difficult times can be such wonderful learning opportunities. As adults, we can all recall times in our lives when things were hard, we had a challenge that didn't seem could be overcome, or we were very sad or hurt. But, I think, if we're honest, we would also say those times were wonderful times of growth, times we realized we were stronger,more capable, or better prepared than we ever thought. What does this look like for our children? In our classroom, we see children struggle everyday with a problem or social situation that is difficult. I have a couple of examples from just this week: A new puzzle came out in our geography shelf. It's indeed a challenging puzzle. Two children were doing the puzzle-they took out all the pieces, worked about 2 minutes, then came to me asking for help. Knowing they hadn't worked very long, I said go back and keep trying. They once again came to me asking for help. I went to their rug and gave them a bit of verbal encouragement w/o touching their work, and they continued working. They began having some success so I moved away, then voila,they finished! They were so proud. If I would have moved in and done the puzzle for them, they wouldn't have experienced or known their ability to push through and figure it out.
Another example is that we have a handful of newer students who just started CMS in January. They have been learning how to get their snow clothes on to go outside. This is BIG work! If a child needs support, typically the teacher will give very detailed verbal suggestions as to how to put on a hat or coat. Yes, this takes a lot of time and often times, many days and even weeks for kids to become independent. We encourage our parents to allow their children to dress themselves as much as they can. Again, the tendency is the put things on your child rather than be patient while they dress themselves. If we put their snow gear on each time, they will not learn to do it themselves. It is often times a big struggle and can take a lot of trial and error. We have had kids go outside with their coats on upside down, but they are so proud that they can do it themselves. Sometimes, we can hinder a child's independence by doing too much for them; therefore, making them think they actually can't do those things. The fruit that comes from allowing our children to face their challenges take the time to problem solve will outweigh the time it takes to help our children do it themselves.
Allow your children to show you what problem solvers they can be~they really will blow you away!
www.CMontessori.com
Friday, January 4, 2013
I took this from Marc Seldin who is the head of The Center for Guided Montessori Studies. I respect the words of this man and the work he does on behalf of children. The tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary is something that any of us can barely process. Our minds and hearts aren't made to take in such devastation. But, as long as we live on this earth and bear a responsibility to children, we must have these difficult and important conversations about what we can do to keep our children safe and protected.
Reflections on Newtown
Once again a mad violence has swept its gaze across the most vulnerable among us. Once again the innocent young bear the brunt of a raging terror. Our inability to protect them rends our hearts, leaving it hard to breathe, hard to forgive ourselves. We must protect our children, and it is so painful when we cannot.
The horror at Sandy Hook Elementary may have resulted from an earlier failure to help Adam Lanza, a sick little boy who grew up to be a madman. We can pity the child he was, while making no excuses for the monster he became.
According to the FBI, in the US alone, every year, thousands of children are victims of violent crime. Globally, UNICEF estimates the number to be in the millions. Everyone agrees we must keep our children safe, and we wring our hands about how best to do just this.
Gun control is the topic of the day, and though it is a discussion worth having it is at once both complex and hardly a sufficient response. Proponents argue, correctly, that certain weapons might cause more harm, more rapidly, leaving less time to intercede and stop a horrifying event. Those against gun control note that in Britain and Australia, where legislation made obtaining a firearm legally quite difficult, violence and mass killings have not decreased much as we would like. And should we get rid of all guns, it is worth noting that recently British doctors have been calling for a ban on kitchen knives in order to prevent "impulse stabbings". An opposing fact is that no children died in a Chinese attack less than 24 hours prior to the Newtown tragedy. The difference - the Chinese attacker used a knife rather than firearms.
But we cannot - must not - be happy in a world where success is measured by children stabbed rather than shot.
Because there have always been tragedies, it is difficult to know whether this particular one was inevitable. But the facts around the incident are striking. Adam Lanza was by many accounts a genius, but apparently no one was surprisedwhen he was identified as the killer. His behavior had been disturbing since he was a very small child, yet no one acted to ensure that he was kept both safe and prevented from hurting others.
And this is the tragedy-within-a-tragedy. None of us can say whether Adam Lanza was destined to become a brutal murderer of small children. But it should be clear to all of us that for many years he was a person who needed help, and received none. A straight line may be drawn from the tragedy of his neglect to the larger tragedy of Sandy Hook Elementary.
In many places around the world, social norms are dissolving, perhaps nowhere faster than in both the US and China. Communities, where once each neighbor watched over the other, are now simply collections of houses. The best neighbors quietly mind their own business.
In another time, Adam Lanza and his family might have received the support they needed to avoid the Newtown tragedy, or failing that, a concerned member of the community might have noticed and acted to protect the innocent. It is remarkable that while his neighbors knew him just well enough to see that he was "troubled", in the weeks since the Sandy Hook massacre we have heard of no one who stepped up and took action. Even as a teenager, when Lanza perhaps could have most benefited from treatment and support, those who knew him saw a problem - and did nothing.
In the coming months our political leaders will almost put forward proposals making it harder to obtain certain types of firearms and making it easier to treat and possibly hospitalize persons with mental illness. Perhaps these steps are good and necessary. But it is clear that they are not enough. We must each act to protect the innocent, and it begins by understanding and acknowledging those around us who need help.
This, to me, is the final coda of the Newtown massacre. It is not about weapons, and it is not about legislation. It is about a sick little boy and a society that forgot about him. It is about the very real cost to our own children if we do not act. But it is also about the very real hope that we can do better.
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